Vol. 2, Number 18 January 12, 1999 The season isn't over until the Jets go home! In This Issue: FBH Playoff Results – Much needed cosmic closure.Commish Tour Highlights – Be there even if you weren’t. Billy's Blast Off - Ralph's tale of a broken childhood (toy). Big Jet Love – Can lots of bulky men hugging be a good thing? Free Association – Now with new associates.
The tour began with the first annual FBH New Year’s Eve Blowout at the Clinton Inn in Tenefly NJ. Singing, dancing and other adult activities were indulged, culminating with a pajama party. It was great to finally meet Rob "NFL Pornographer Guy" Tringali, Jr. and Genvieve "The Little French Girl" Monet and the non-FBH-ers in their pack of running buddies. Mucho thanks to Miss Mellenhead for her work in arranging the whole gig. More on M-head later. After a fine New Year’s Day brunch, we rendez-vous-ed with Dute and Steve and those cutest cuties in cutieland, Heather and Jessica, at the very accommodating Westfield Inn. The next day, we packed up the troupe for the trip to Long Island despite some pretty cold temperatures. It was great to see everyone at the Brown Family Christmas party, albeit a short reunion. Playoff games were a central focus. Uncle Ken was feted for his recent retirement and his re-assignment of the Nipplehead. The crimes against the spirituality of football perpetrated by the Sea Scum were debated. Uncle Rich did his Earl Morall impersonation. Uncle Bobby announced that he was coming out of FBH retirement next season. Kenny, Jr. received an impromptu feng shui lesson. We successfully fit twenty-nine people and a tray of manicotti in the kitchen at the same time. Cannoli cake? Awesome. Kimba and I got back to Cranford before any weather issues arose and did arrive safely back in Dallas without incident. In the final analysis, recruiting efforts resulted in interest by three more members for next season. Big FBH hugs and kisses go to everyone who were part of the trip, especially Uncle Ken and Aunt MaryAnn for their party-throwing and to Bob and Ellen for their fine hosting and flexibility in the face of ever-changing plans.
 Just had to mention this momentous
occasion...Bob Shupp has managed to procure himself a Billy Blastoff! "So what", you say? Well, when we were little kids, Billy Blastoff was a prize possession of the young Scumby. It was one of the most memorable Christmas presents he had ever received from Santa. Billy was a boy astronaut, made of plastic, but was motorized and actually a lot cooler than it looks in this picture. He probably could have looked forward to many years of outer space excitement and moon walking thrills with Billy, if it weren't for yours truly. In what is probably the first documented incident involving my temper, I grabbed my older brother's favorite toy one day, and threw it against our bedroom wall, smashing poor Billy into a million pieces. He blasted off alright! It's one of those childhood memories, just a moment in time that you can still see in your mind's eye. I see that white and blue astro-boy hitting the wall and pieces just flying everywhere! Wow! Quite a thrill for an under 5 year-old. The next moments aren't so fond in my memory, though, as those moments were filled with Bob beating the shit out me. I never broke anything of his again. But today, on the 30th Anniversary of Super Bowl III, Bob has informed me that he has once again become the proud owner of a Billy Blastoff. He bought it thru an on-line auction on E-Bay. The seller, ironically enough, lives in Flower Mound, Texas (a suburb of Dallas). And so finally, after close to 30 years of guilty feelings, I feel like a small plastic weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Bob is getting his Billy Blastoff back. The incident has become a part of Shupp folklore. Our Mom might cry when she hears the news. <End Ralph>
The Gang Green have given us a team to be proud of and have exorcised the "how are the Jets going to lose this game" demons of years past. We go to Denver proudly with the wish that we play our very best game. The Jets players and coaches have the heart, talent and ambition to go all the way. But the air is mighty thin in the final four, not just in Mile High Stadium; all the teams are of the highest quality. In any case, it will be emotional and exciting playing for stakes this high. Hopefully, Shuppy will accompany Rob T. to the AFC Championship game in Denver this Sunday. Dreamfully, we’ll all meet in Miami in three weeks. This is the Commish. GO! [ The LBFBHHQ staff is proud to announce that Miss Mellenhead has agreed to join us as our East Coast correspondent, mainly responsible for collecting pictures and various memorabilia for the group. Welcome LPG! This is Ralph. Go! a Welcome to the FBH-HQ Mellenhead! We'll have to come up with a new official name for you, but for now, how's "Step Off, Ass(Commish)" ? This is the Commish. GO! [ Thanks to the recent fundraising efforts, nearly all the dues were received. We appreciate you! [ In recognition of his lifetime achievement, the last place award will be renamed in honor of the Phabulous Phoney. Details to follow.[ Changes to the Who’s Who pages will be updated as information arrives. Paul and Michelle have requested updates which we will get on. Obviously, we picked up lots of good fodder on our trips. This Week's Games
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Until
next time, from the love-beaded Football Happenings headquarters,
it’s little kisses, little kisses and ciao ciao!
Buntman A
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Third place was finally decided in
double-overtime, with John "Keenen Mc" Kardel prevailing over Mike
"Mission Accomplished" Forst by two games in the second week of the
playoffs. Both men should be congratulated on fine seasons, in which John
won $100 and Mike earned $50.
In an amendment to the fourth quarter results, the Commish
elected, upon petition by Michelle "Marino-nette" Brown, to
hold a coin-toss to decide who among her and Angelo "Sheehy" Forgione
would be declared the winner of the Q4 Mookie race and who would be the wild card winner.
In a brief ceremony conducted in Uncle Ken’s kitchen in front of
several witnesses, Michelle won the toss and with it the right to be
called the quarterly winner. There was no monetary difference.
Thankfully, this year the
scheduling gods were on our side and this allowed the LBFBHHQ staff to make some visits
out into the far reaches of the FBH community. Ricky was able to attend
the Jets/Pats season ending game and have some face to face time with several of his
Little Boy Division cohabitors. Miss Kimba and the Commish presided over
several ceremonies on a recent east-coast swing.
Thanks to Shuppy and
American Airlines’ Netsaver fares, the Commish presided over the Jets playoff win
over the Jaguars at the Meadowlands last Sunday. Bob guests also joining in on the festive
time were Steve "Dr. X" Schwade and Dave "My love
of football is not rivaled by my love of women" Schwade who rooted for the
Jets for once in his miserable life. Capsulizing the experience goes beyond words; suffice
it to say it was a very good time to be a Jet fan and it was good to share the event with
the gang.