FBH Front Page Week #9

Vol. 2 Number 9 November 7, 1998

In This Issue:

Taking Ten – The recap of the first half while you rest.
Divisional Races – Two winners. Two contests going to OT.
The New B(East) – Surrealism sired by parity.
Music Corner – Oh, I see we had time to go CD shopping.
Free Association – I’m free, to do what I want, any old time.
Halloween Results – Sister, Sister.

Taking Ten

AssCommish In Heaven Halftime of FBH ’98 is upon us.
120 games gone. 120 to go. It was a lackluster week nine for most of our group with the following exceptions: Ellen "Mellenhead" Raimondo, Rob "F-Troop" Tringali, Jr. and Dick "GOP RIP" Vanek had 10-4 records. What is really exciting, though, is we have a very close race this season, with four competitors tied for the overall lead and eight more within 2 games of them. The second half should be juicy.

All the pro teams have played 8 games to this point. Do you wonder which teams have the best record vs. the spread? Glad to help. Seven teams are 6-2. They are: Minnesota, GB, Chicago, Atlanta, Buffalo, Sea Scum, Mighty Jets, Denver, and Seattle. The teams to have avoided in the first half were: Washington (1-7), Indianapolis and Baltimore (2-6), Carolina (2-5-1) and San Diego (2-4-2). Friendly word (aka disclaimer) from the LBFBHHQ: Past performance does not necessarily indicate future results.

Divisional Races

Mookie Division

The first playoff for a second quarter divisional champion is between Todd "Odds" Meyer and Mark "Evens" Reid.

Key Divisional Stat: Dute is below .500 for the first time in recent memory. Four of the bottom six are from this division.

Jackie Division

It’s fitting that the big dogfight will be happening in the most precious division. The Q2 ended with a three-way tie between Mike "Rock" Forst, Jeff "Scizzors" Vanek and Kelly "Paper" Howell.

Sadly, last Tuesday, Kenny was lynched by an unruly mob of concealed weapon-toting pro-lifers after they learned that he voted democratic in Texas. Those bastards!

Key Divisional Stats: Overall, Jeff has the worst record in the division…Kenny is 8 games over .500 and is tied for the fifth best overall record in the division.

Little Boy Division

Showing that she still has "it", Ellen "Mellenhead" Raimondo pulled out two ten-win weeks at the end to take the second quarter by one game over Jeff "I had ‘it’ once, but the cream they gave me cleared it up" Sternberg. Ellen’s 41 wins were the best second stanza league-wide. Sadly, Super Mikey faded with 5-9 in the final week.

Key Divisional Stats: Dave "I don’t even know what ‘it" is" Schwade ended up a whopping 16 games back behind Mellenhead. He averaged 5 wins/wk while Ellen averaged 8.2/wk…Shuppy is back to .500 – is a resurgence in the offing?

Wild Card

With a strong 40 win effort, Jeff Sternberg won the wild card race by two games over the loser in the Mookie Division (no, not me!).

The New B(East)

Chrebet In the early 90’s, the NFC East champion was the odds-on favorite to win the Super Bowl. Slowly, the power shifted to the NFC Central who, last year, sent four teams to the playoffs and was represented in the Super Bowl by Green Bay.

Looking at those teams today, there’s little doubt that Minnesota has been the best team in the NFC this season, and the Packers are still among the best. However, Tampa, a team that seemed to be on the rise, has apparently forgotten how to win on the road. And Detroit has completely disappeared save one superior effort vs. GB which had to cause some consternation in Wisconsin. As parity gains more momentum every week, clearly the "Black and Blue" division has lost some of its bruising ability.

With the rise of Denver as the best team in football, could the balance of power be shifting to the AFC? Scarier still, could the AFC East now be the best division going? Surely, this is a preposterous statement. But hey, with four teams tied for the divisional lead with 5-3 records going into this week’s action, there is a strong possibility that the A/E could send four teams to the playoffs this season. Remember, Buffalo beat Saint Francis and the Jets lost to SF in OT and beat the 6-2 Falcons like a drum, not to mention KC. The second half should be very interesting.

Music Corner

Here are some comments on a few of the CD’s I have purchased recently.

"Imperial Bedroom" by Elvis Costello

Just bought it and have only listened to it once, but it has the potential to become a personal favorite. This album was recorded in 1982, just after Elvis finished producing Squeeze’s "East Side Story" (which includes "Tempted" for those of you who have been relatively untouched by Difford & Tillbrook). "Bedroom" has received much critical acclaim over the years, and I have been saving this purchase for a while. It has not disappointed. I recommend looking for the re-release (Rykodisc 1994) as it contains 9 additional tracks and a very complete set of liner notes by E.C. himself.

Just out this Tuesday

The new Beck album "Mutations" seems good. But don’t expect those block-rockin’ beats a la Odelay; look for the mellow, more traditional melody-driven songs. It might not be a Saturday night album – but it could be one for Sunday morning coffee.

Also, I like the new Cardigans, "Gran Turismo", although I need a few more listens to give the full seal of approval. Nice melodies and arrangement…The new Sheryl Crow (came out a couple of weeks ago) and the new REM "Up" seem a bit bland at first blush, especially Stipey & Co. who have seemingly forgotten that melodies should eventually include different notes. What the heck has happened to REM anyway? Could it be that their last good album was "Out of Time" - released in 1991? Shudder to think…

Free Association

This is the Commish. GO!

[ The Commish gleefully reports a sweep of the home/home series versus the birds. Rutgers beats Temple by a TD. Dallas schmeers Philly. Angelo goes fishing.

[ Wasn’t it this week that Pete was going to have that perfect record?

[ FBH Challenge: Todd Meyer will buy a beer for anyone who can name 14 Minnesota Viking QBs without looking it up.

[ Good Riddance to Newt Gingrich. Let’s hope that he is replaced with someone who truly wants to figure out a way for everyone to work together.

[ In case you missed it on the Tonight Show, to paraphrase Jay Leno: "There is a new breakfast food named after the Buffalo QB: Flutie Flakes. There is also a breakfast food named after the Washington Redskins: Toast."

Halloween Costume Vote Results

This is Ralph, Go!

Here are the results of the Halloween Costume Contest !!

Receiving a record number, 14 votes...
The Winner is...

Schwade Boys In Skirts

I have to admit, I almost didn't use this photo. I thought Steve's head was a little too small to see. But I went with it and I'm glad I did as it was by far the most popular photo.

Bob & Ellen
as Kim & Roy

Second Place: Receiving 4 Votes

Here's the story on this picture... It's not a fake, it's actually a real photo that Bob and Mellenhead had taken as a joke. Kim and Roy had sent Bob a framed version of the picture they had taken of themselves. A short time later, Roy, while visiting Bob in Jersey, accidently left behind the shirt he was wearing in the photo. It was B&E's brilliant idea to pose for a similar photo wearing Roy's shirt. They did their best to match the original photo in all detail. Roy has had this photo for a while, I've been wanting to use it on the page, and this seemed the perfect time.

Third Place: Receiving 3 Votes each:

Teletubby
John Kardel

Vanek M&M's

Kelly Spock

Honorable Mention: Others receiving votes...

Superman Mikey Joyce (2)	FDRP as a Pumpkin (2)
Captain Rich Kirk (1)	Happy Days Gang (1)

We Thank All Those Who Voted!!

One More

The Rubles

Until next week, from the love-beaded Football Happenings headquarters,
it’s little kisses, little kisses and ciao ciao!
Buntman A