IN THIS ISSUE:

FBH Recap – The Commish is back from his mid-season spiritual sojourn.
Thank You World – Good things are going on all around us.
NFL Happenings – Ralph is a Camera.
Extra Points – The fastest two minutes in footballhappenings.

FBH Recap

  First and foremost, I thank my FBH compadres for filling in during my “bye week.”  (Unlike the NFL, though, my bye weeks are unscheduled and unexpected.)  Hussahs and kudos are due to our tremendous AssCommish who filled in admirably on the bridge of the S.S. FBH in my absence. Wonderful Rutgers coverage! Plus which, this season’s contributions from everyone out there have been plentiful. I quite enjoyed Paul “Pacific Rim” Kessler’s comments, especially the ones that came at Yogi’s expense; those are always fun.  But Paul, you may want to think about getting back home soon if “platypus flogging” has been coming to mind.  It’s a sign.

  After 10 games this season, six NFL teams boast won/loss records of 8-2 or better.  This hasn’t happened for over 20 years.  Does this make things easier from a picking standpoint?  Not likely.  Home teams, the staple of many a picker, are a beleaguered 71-82-5 so far this season.  However, last week the football gods relaxed their stranglehold long enough to allow the homers to go 10-5 much to the deelite of many in our little community.  In fact, sixteen of us had double digit wins in week 11, including cortexually stimulating 11-4 marks by Mikey Joyce Boulefont and Pete “Four Alarm” Blasevick, who is our leading candidate for both FBH rookie of the year and most improved player.

 Dick “The other Dickie Vee” Vanek took first place back from Niewy last week.  With only six weeks remaining, the talk about a repeat has already started.  I found it interesting that we currently have six way ties for both 11^th and 17^th place.  That’s 25% of our group within one game of each other.  Togetherness is so nice, especially at this time of year. 

  During the holidays, it’s also important to remember those who are less fortunate.  Standing around the metaphoric oil drum fire in the vacant lot bracing against the cold are Scott “Carol O” Conner, Audrey “Joan!  Help Joan!” Vanek, Boobie “Hermie the Dentist” Shupp, Will “You please stop mentioning me in the last place section?” Wong and Jody “Sam” Posey.

 Only two picking weeks left in the quarter!  Renewing an old rivalry in the Mookie Division are “Richard” Todd Meyer and Matt “Robinson” Bashaw (by the way Matt, what do you know about Mrs. Macaluso’s daughter?  See what you can find out for us.)  Kelly “Militant Shopper” Howell and Mark “The Ultimate Homer” Vanek are out in front of the Jackie pack, and Pete has a slim advantage in the Little Boy department, so to speak.

Thank You World

  Thank you World for… My fantastic life partner the unique and scintillating Miss Kimba and sharing 12 years of marriage, the CD burner, dreams, performance fleece, Niewy Nina and Zsa Zsa Ming Ming, Law & Order, new beginnings for my family, music, the wonder of detachment, a Jet three game winning streak, a new nine holes yet to be discovered at Grapevine (by the way the 13^th hole is now the 4^th hole), chocolate, books, the fact that no one knows that I get my hair cut at the same place Pete Knapp does, humanism, Memorial Day at Keuka Lake, The Sunday Ticket, acts of kindness, Chuck Mangione, innovation, long-sleeved Henley shirts, laptops, the entire FBH family (including Mr. Preston), evolution, green tea in that big mug with the watermelon on it that Linda gave me, all the babies, humor, Norma’s Café, wood, birds, the two person snap, boxers, the “E” chord (apparently you can really “bang” on it), The Kaiser, Sunflowers, jazz guitar, the present. The present gives forever. 

Niewy

 
NFL Happenings

Thank You Pats and Scum... for keeping the Jets in the race.

Thank You cbs.sportsline.com for supplying me with all these great photos!

Favre signals how many minutes until he passes out from overexcitement.

Game winning TD for San Diego?? Nope. Game winning FG for Boniol.

McNabb loses the ball, his shoe, the game, his dignity. Ricky Williams loses his endzone virginity.

Extra Points

[ Proudly displaying a picture of the newest member of our FBH family, Miss Haley Vanek, reminds us to honor our other Scorpios.  Happy Birthday wishes to Miss Kimba, Dutie, JV (proud papa) and Uncle Phil. 

[ FFB update.  With only four weeks to go in the regular season (weeks 16 and 17 are used for playoffs), Boobie’s team remains in first place with an 8-3 record.  Some dude I’ve never met is in second place at 7-4.  But the real news is seven of us are either 6-5 or 5-6.  We got ‘yer parity, right here!  The highlight of last week was our own version of “bad football” as The Commish’s ninth-placed Hoppy Lads edged John “Cookiepuss” Kardel’s The Titends 37.5 to 29.9.  The score sounds reasonable enough until you consider that 67.4 total points were scored in our match and Bob’s team averages 73.1 points/week.  Fittingly, defense ruled as a TB interception return for a TD barely overcame 5 Drew Bledsoe picks.

[ The girl-drink drunk.  Underrated.

[ About that infamous week 9 picture…all I can say is thank goodness Tom Schwade isn’t a “front hugger.”

[ Ray Lucas is for real.

[ This helpful hint from The Commish:  When trying to determine who is to blame for a gridiron mistake, the first tiebreaker is:  “If you did not go to Rutgers, it’s your fault.”

[ Speaking of being for real, how ‘bout those Seahawks?  Of course we know about Coach Holmgren.  The offense has some pretty good skill players in QB Kitna, RB Watters, WR Galloway, Mayes and Dawkins, and K Peterson.  And let’s not forget Scarlet Knight Mr. Bellamy in the secondary.

[ Who will be forgotten first, Ricky Martin or Pokemon?

[ Thursday will be the six year anniversary of the infamous snow-covered Thanksgiving Day game that featured Leon Lett’s colossal blunder following a blocked FG. Final Score:  SeaScum 16 – Cowboys 14.  Ah, the good old days when the Dallas offense could actually score two touchdown…but I digress.  Thursday will also bring a rematch of these same squads, only Jimmy Johnson will have switched sidelines for this one.  Let(t)’s hope JJ feels the sting of losing once again, in spite for his penchant for, and our aversion to, hystrionics.

[ Thank you all so much for being out there.  Happy Thanksgiving!