Vol. 4 Issue
12 -- Nov. 21, 2000
Week Twelve
!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!
Football Happenings
(or "Short week equals short
issue")
IN THIS ISSUE:
[ The Week Twelve Review - How can it be we only have five weeks left?
[ Giving Thanks - The Commish's annual Thanksgiving address.
[ You're A Big Boy Now - Freakishly huge?
[ NFL Happenings - Better than HBO, no Dan Marino or Len Dawson.
[ Extra Points - The fastest two minutes in Football Happenings.
As kind as the second quarter was to me, the third has been nastier than Mike Tyson off his meds. Can I get a witness? It has gotten so bad that my lovely bride took my advice and took the opposite of my picks last week and it worked well for her.
RICKY -- WILL YOU DO THE HONORS?
Sure will Roy, and please don't call me Ricky.
Ralph here... It's that time of the year folks. The first person to reach 100 wins for the season, and still at the top of the charts, is Tommy "Hilfiger" Shiflett with a 10-win Week 12. The Cap'n and Mikey (10-5) are still hot on his trail, but Tommy is looking to pull away. Also scoring big in Week 12 with 10 wins were Jim "RU Serious?" Dodaro, Aimee "Man, oh" Mann, Angelo "Eagles!" Forgione, and Kim "Opposite of Roy in so many ways" Bunting. And a special shout-out goes to Mike "Makes up for that 3-10 week" Forst who accidentally pulled off an 11-4. Nice work everyone.Quite a few of you had a very pathetic Week 12. With eleven people reaching double digits in loses, it would be near impossible to publicly embarrass each and every one. But you know who you are! So consider this another thing to be thankful for, and don't let me catch you losing 12 of 15 games again!
Who'll be the first to lose 100? Todd "Mr. Irrelevant" Meyer is the closest with 98 incorrections so far, with Dawn "I used to OWN this league!" Ruble, who will be joining several others on the other side of a hundred by this time next week.
There's only one week left to get those third quarter wins in...
There's a couple of tight races for Q3 division honors. Most competitive of them all is for the JoeJackson crown. John "I'd be a Peeping Tom, but I have ugly neighbors" Kardel shares the late lead with the aforementioned Forst (to be reckoned with), but there are 5 others here within 2 games of their lead. Good luck to some of them.
Mikey "I may have impregnated a Chad" Joyce has the best Q3 record overall and is stiff-arming the Raimondos on his way to Lemonhead glory. The Cardigan division is again being lead by an alter-ego (Aimee), while James "I'd better not just accept the home teams this week if I hope to win this quarter, I do so much better when I make picks" Howell leads the dada gang over Anti-Roy and the league MVP so far, Tommy.
Acting like a Political Third Party, WorldParty is just struggling along. Bless their little hearts, they are trying. As of right now, Angelo leads, but there are some questions about some overseas ballots from Andy Halstead. Word has it, that while AB may be years behind the rest of us who already have PC's, he will soon be on-line, and in doing so, will place himself light years ahead of the Voting System in this country.
We hand out money next week! Best of luck to all, and have a great holiday! [--Ralph]
Do you notice how everyone always says; "I can't believe it's Thanksgiving already?" How does this continuously happen? And why do the years seem to keep getting shorter? Time as we know it does not accelerate, so what gives?
Mathematically, each passing day comprises a smaller percentage of your lifespan than the day before did, so if you consider it from that angle, time does pass more quickly. And while I am being somewhat facetious here, I think being older does have something to do with it. As we get older, we learn just how short a day really is. We more perspective. We acquire more experience, realizing that everything passes with time, so the ups and downs we are bound to encounter are not as daunting. Pleasure and pain are temporary situations.
The trick, I've found, is not to get consumed by events, but to try to remain detached from them. Life has more plot twists than any book, movie or soap opera ever thought of; remaining calm is essential. Plus, there is no guaranty something that does go the way you had planned will turn out for the best or vice versa. The Dalai Lama says, "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." Come to think of it, most of my old girlfriends say that too.
Are there things I wish were different? Sure, I guess so. But I'm open to seeing the opportunity/blessing/gift that is here because of the way things are in the present, even when it happens during a situation I view as less-than-ideal (and that sure seems to happen a lot).
Life can be like the eco-challenge. We are all doing what we can to navigate the situations that present themselves to us. At each moment, there are an infinity of choices available. We only need the strength to persevere and the faith that what we are doing is right.
I have really had so much to be happy about in my life and so little to be unhappy about that I almost feel I may not be an accurate representative for humanity. The world has shared many gifts with me. I have been fortunate to connect with some truly outstanding people who have good spirits and generous natures. My family has always been loving and encouraging. I have enjoyed a long and fulfilling relationship with Kim. And there are always plenty of cats around. When I give thanks, these are the things that are never far from my mind.
So the next time you feel like the world needs some serious adjustment, remember that things change, so keep the faith. Besides, it'll be next Thanksgiving before you know it. [--Roy]
While visiting Jersey last month, Bob had saved for me a newspaper article in the Star-Ledger about a young man on the Roselle Park, New Jersey, High School Football Team. It seems this is a special player. Special because, as you can see, he's <BLEEPING> HUGE!!
That's right, he's 517 pounds, and 6 foot 10 !! Amazing. Can he run? Can he do anything but get in the way? Who knows. I guess it doesn't matter. They should give him the ball, who could tackle him? Pity the fool who gets tackled by this guy.
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This is The Commish. Go!
[ Naturally, everyone remembers that we have Thursday games this week, being that it's Thanksgiving.
[ Rutgers succumbed to Notre Dame last weekend by about 30 points. At first I was elated that we had covered the point spread, but apparently we didn't. Consolation enough that RU scored their first ever points against the Knutes. I think this game was scheduled when I was in college with the theory that RU would be a big-time school by the time they faced the Irish. I guess it's time to start planning that University of Michigan game tailgate party for 2025.
[ Following up last week's report, The Cranford girls' soccer team ended their season 26-0-1 after tying Middletown South in the State Championship game. The Cougars are ranked #6 in the nation and felt disappointment because they wanted the win so badly, but the LBFBHHQ staff couldn't be prouder. Has Cranford ever been state champion in anything else?
[ Typical Miami crap. According to ESPN.com: "Curtis Martin suffered a back injury on his first carry of the first half. He made another attempt for six yards but left for the locker room to have X-rays. The Dolphins frustrated Martin by not having an X-ray machine that worked, so he couldn't find out what was wrong with his back. "The trainers couldn't take any chances with my back because they didn't know, and I'm definitely disappointed about that," Martin said. "I couldn't find out because you can't take any chances with that. It was a matter of not knowing."
[ There has been enough falderal about "Indecision 2000" to go around, but my favorite comments came from Cokie Roberts who said, "Politicians are worried that if we don't have a President for long enough, we may realize that we don't need one" and Jon Stewart who said, "The Constitution says that if there's a tie in a State's election that local custom is used to break the tie, and apparently in Florida the tiebreaker is a hot buns contest."
[ The Chris "Boomer" Berman comment on last Sunday's Prime Time that raised more than one eyebrow in the LBFBHHQ came as he described a hard hit during one game by saying a player named "Ty" was "sticked" by the linebacker. Hrrmmm...
[ Time catches up on all of us. This week, big bad birthday greetings go out to Tommy Shiflett whose personal odometer hits 3-0 on Friday.
Until
next week, from the love-beaded FBH headquarters, it’s little kisses,
little kisses, Happy Thanksgiving, and ciao ciao! -- Buntman, et. al. A
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