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Vol. 6 No. 2 -- Sept. 30, 2001
Football Happenings
(or "God Bless America")
In this Issue:
[
FBH - Wherefore art thou??
[
And
they're off! - Who's starting fast, and who's lagging behind.
[
Boston Becomes Bob-Town
- (Part 1)
[
Scattershots - Not Kenny D, but a
reasonable facsimile.
FBH - Wherefore Art Thou??
This is Ralph, Go!
 Wherefore indeed. It's been a rough start to the 2001 season of FBH. Let's
face it, we're never really ready for the start of any NFL
season. Roy and I are usually ensconced in our yearly battle with
our Fantasy Baseball brethren, not to mention the MLB Pennant races,
Summer is still winding down (and if you live in Texas, Summer is
still in full swing on Labor Day), and all the great ideas for
additions to FBH that might have come to mind in the off-season
become distant memories at crunch time.
The 2001 NFL season began on September 9th. On September 11th,
instead of gathering photos of Week One's games, and gathering our
thoughts and excitement of the new season, we all awoke to the news
that Terrorism had finally struck home. Most of us spent the next 72
hours watching commercial-free news coverage of events that seemed
more like a Hollywood movie than reality. Football, in fact, all
sports, took a backseat, and rightfully so, as our country
discovered new heroes. These heroes don't wear football helmets or
Nike cleats. These heroes wear Fire Helmets, and Police Badges.
These heroes risked, and lost, their lives to save others. These
heroes lost their lives when they refused to allow Hijackers to take
the plane they were on and crash it into an American landmark,
instead forcing it to crash into a field in Pennsylvania. These
heroes are still hard at work, trying in vain to find survivors
among a pile of rubble in NYC that none of us can truly comprehend.
These heroes make us wonder why we ever thought that professional
athletes were our heroes and role models. These heroes are faceless,
and nameless, and are helping us redefine the word "hero". I hope we
never forget them.
The new wave of Patriotism in this country is wonderful to see, in my
opinion. This IS the best damn country in the world, and I couldn't
imagine living anywhere else. Traditionally, we only display our
love of country on special holidays. But recent events have brought
out the patriot in all of us, and I hope that lasts for a long time
to come. Every day should be Independence Day.
And They're Off !!
Who's starting fast, and who's lagging behind
 While
it's no surprise seeing Cap'n Dom's (11-3 week 2) name residing at
or near the top of our standings, it is news that
Dave "First
place?, really??" Barisa is prominently featured up there
as well. Dave, who had the best record in week 1 by going 10-3-2,
finished 13th overall in 2000. Joining our new cast of leaders are
Beth "49th Place in '00" Wong
and
Paul "25th in '00" Kessler,
both of whom scored 10-4 records in week 2, are sharing time in 3rd
Place. Rounding out the Top 5 are a pair of old-timers,
Paul "Hello from Hong Kong" Kessler
(10-4 week 2) and
Alex "Papa Commish" Bunting,
and a pair of new- comers,
Kyle "who needs a bed when there's
a bathtub?" Patterson
and
Tom "Insert witty nickname here"
LeDuc. Both
Kyle and Tom are long-time FBH wannabe members. Kyle attended
Rutgers, living with Roy and Bob in those days, and Tom shared in
many of Bob and Dave/Tom Schwade's teenaged juvenile antics. Both
were recruited during last weekend's FBH Recruitment trip to Boston,
that was also disguised as Bob's Bachelor Party. We're happy to
welcome both men to our little family, and not just because I have
embarrassing photos of Kyle to use on this webpage (see photo).
Taking up
residence in the FBH Basement are
John "Doc Smith stole my negatives"
Kardel and
Ellen "soon to be a Mrs.
Mellenhead" Raimondo
(soon to be Shupp), neither of which have had more than 4 wins in
each week so far. It should be pointed out that since Cap'n Dom is
Mellenhead's father, the 44 spaces between them is a new record for
FBH kin. Way to go!
With a little
luck, we'll have the divisions set up after week 3's games since the
first quarter usually ends after week 4. While we've gained 2 new
members this year, there are several people that have gone AWOL so
far in 2001. We finished with 54 people last year, but that's down
to about 45 this year. Hopefully we'll get some more stragglers as
the season gets going.
Boston Becomes Bob-Town
(Part 1)
This is Roy, Go!
Our bachelor party in Boston weekend ended with
a final score of:
Tigers 4 - Red Sox 3
Jets 10 - Pats 3
Guys fit into limo - 9
Guys Bob puked on - 2
Times Dave Schwade got lost - 2
Miles from Foxboro Stadium we parked - 2.5
FBH'ers in attendance - 7
Shupps in attendance - 3
Schwades in attendance - 2
Roberts in attendance - 2
Brawls we broke up - 1
Sleeping naked Kyles in the bathtub - 1
Times “The Advice” was dispensed - 1
Trolley accidents - 0 (just barely)
All in all, a very successful outing and my
thanks to everyone involved.
Most assuredly, there will be references to the
details for the remainder of this season. A full accounting would be
inappropriate for much of our audience and would be a long story, even
by Roy Bunting standards. For now, let’s just let some initial
reactions tell the tale.
Ironically, I was more excited about this trip on the way home than I was
before it started. Perhaps it was the specter of uncertain travel
safety looming during my departure from Dallas. Maybe it was just the
emotional hangover we were all experiencing in the wake of the WTC/Pentagon/PA
incidents. I certainly could not have anticipated how well the weekend
was to go. In the final analysis, I didn’t realize (or even consider)
how much spiritual tonic a few days of emotional connection with some
of the best people I know would provide.
I think it was because my perception was altered. Running around
concentrating on things like picking up the dry cleaning and changing
the world for such a long time, my perspectives had become somewhat
narrow. September 11th brought a lot of things into focus. Don’t get
me wrong; I think we have to redouble our efforts to continue doing
the good we’ve set out to do. It’s just like I’m more serious about
making those personal connections now. I am realizing their importance
while the interactions are taking place rather than having some
diffuse, general good feeling after they occur.
Deepak Chopra once said, “The past is history, the future a mystery, and
the present is eternal.” I think that was the lesson in a nutshell; to
concentrate on the present at all times. The Motels sang, “Stay until
you go” which might sound like a throwaway lyric unless you think
about it in terms of keeping your concentration on the person you are
with until you leave them. I dare say, remembering this will keep our
increasingly fewer and more infrequent personal connections generating
the maximum benefits to all involved.
Scattershots - Not Kenny D, but a
reasonable facsimile
Entire Article:
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/010925.html By Bill
Simmons
Random thoughts from a guy who watched 14 out of a
possible 14 hours of NFL action over the past two days ...
Nobody quits on a pass pattern in the waning moments
of a loss quite like Randy Moss.
Does "icing the kicker" ever work?
After I went flying through the windshield of the James Thrash Fantasy
Bandwagon in Week 1, I landed in front of the car, then it started up
again and rolled right over me.
My favorite "sports owner who always seems like he's drunk even though
he probably isn't" is Red McCombs.
I'd like to hear Tom Brokaw announce a Giants game just to hear him
say the word "Jurevicius."
I'll be honest: Flea flickers always put a hop in my step.
You know, I liked "Max Bickford" the first time around ... when it was
called "Mr. Holland's Opus." On second thought, I didn't like that
either.
I'm naming my first son either "Takeo" or "Az-Zahir."
If there's room in the budget to hire a sideline reporter when I get
married, I'm pulling out all the stops to land Beasley Reece. Then he
could walk around during the reception and ask questions like "There's
a lot of emotion in this place today ... describe your emotions right
now."
There isn't a dumber rule in sports than "Offsetting unnecessary
roughness penalties."
Am I the only one keeping my fingers crossed for a "SportsCentury and
Beyond: Billy 'White Shoes' Johnson" episode?
My favorite thing about 49ers games: the random "Generic Tight End"
who ends up starting for San Fran every year. And it's never the same
guy ... the only constants are that he's usually white and he's
usually wearing No. 85. It's like they call the NFL Player's Union
right before the start of every season and say, "All right, what do
you have left in the tight end department? You take money orders,
right?"
I'm not sure if John Abraham is the next LT, but he's definitely the
next Derrick Thomas, at the very least.
There are roughly 330 linebackers in the NFL right now with the last
name "Lewis."
On the subject of alleged fantasy sleepers who are currently in a
coma, every time I think about the fact that I selected Trent Green in
the third round of my fantasy draft, it gives me that same feeling I
get when I'm sifting through my CD collection and stumble across "The
Best of George Michael."
I can't wait for the fall TV season to kick off just for another
season of Pat Summerall saying, :Coming up tonight on Fox, 'Malcolm!'
(awkward pause) ... 'In The Middle!' "
Speaking of CBS, if they really want to drive up ratings for their
pre-game show, they should shave Jerry Glanville's head, handcuff him
and take his pants. Actually, they should just do that, regardless.
I would take a blood transfusion from Charlie Sheen before I ever lay
points with Ty Detmer on the road.
I wish I could buy stock in things like " 'Fox's 'Best Damn Sports
Show, Period' will get yanked off the air within three months."
Packers d-lineman Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila's name means "Big Man Come and
Save Me" in Nigerian. I don't even have a joke here.
The Inevitable Fred Taylor Injury has replaced one of my friends
calling me just to ask, "What the hell's the deal with John Madden's
eyebrows?" as my favorite sign that the NFL season has finally kicked
off.
Speaking of Fred, can they bring back those old ABC "Superstars" shows
and refine it to include only NFL players who always get injured? Can
you imagine? It could be a "Last Man Standing Wins the Money"
decathlon featuring Michael Westbrook, Terry Glenn, Terrell Davis,
Fred Taylor, Chris Chandler, Tim Biakabatuka ... I'm telling you, this
would be a ratings gold mine.
Stat of the year: Dick Hantak is the only referee who has worked in
NFL games in three different decades.
Until
next time, from the love-beaded FBH headquarters,
it’s little kisses, little kisses, and ciao ciao! -- Buntman
A
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