Vol. 6 No. 5 -- Nov. 22, 2001
Thanksgiving Happenings

This is Ralph, Go!

On this Thanksgiving Day 2001, several questions are demanding answers. I will attempt to shed light on these topics of discussion... Q: Would the FBH Halloween issue be replaced BEFORE Thanksgiving Day?  A: No.  But today is Thanksgiving, and so at least the page is being updated today. It's a small thing, I know, but at least it's something to be thankful for.  Q: Will we hear from Roy at all this season?  A: Maybe.  The season is well over half-way finished, and Roy has been an eerily silent partner so far. The man has a business to run, after all. Even so, it's been his vision that has developed this league and has helped guide this website to the heights it has achieved. I know that I am not alone when I say that one of the things that makes this league so much fun to be a part of is his weekly ramblings and witty comments on the NFL and life in general. Roy! Where are you??  Q: Do we have a winner in the 4th Annual FBH Halloween Costume contest?  A: Yes we do!  Q: Did "ballot box stuffing" happen again this year?  A: Yes it did.  In a sneaky attempt on my part to shed light on this touchy subject, all submitted votes were identified by the IP address of the PC that sent them. While this does not identify exactly WHO stuffed the box, it does indicate that such stuffing took place. Last year such action altered the actual vote, and this year, someone voted for the same costume from the same PC 9 times in the span of 3 minutes. Is this a crime? Hardly. After all, I did make a point of encouraging people to "Vote Often". And the voted on costume received plenty of other votes as well, so it's a deserving nominee. But those 9 votes did push it on to victory.  Q: Must a Schwade win this contest every year?  A: It seems so.  Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe it's fate, maybe it's a Communist plot, or maybe the Schwade boys just make terrific models for such jocularity. In any case, in the four years of this contest, a Schwade has won 3 times and finished a controversial second place the year they didn't win. Tom "Jones" Schwade is the standard that all other costumes strive for, and was a clear cut winner when it first appeared in 1999. In 1998, another classic Schwade costume won that year's contest as well. And this year's winner... 2001 Costume Champion Dave In Rubber 1998 Winner  ...maintains the Schwade winning tradition. Recipient of 20 votes, and my personal favorite this year, Dave and his Rubber Suit takes First Place! Last year, while the Kesslers won in controversial vote, the only costume to feature the Schwade boys came in a close second.  Q: So who came in 2nd Place?  A: Miss Roy America.  This year's "no-brainer" of a costume was Roy winning the Miss America contest. Roy's unusual love of Beauty Contests was showcased in this costume, and could have easily won First Place if not for the ballot-box stuffing. He received 14 votes, twice as many as any of the other contestants (besides Dave).   There he is, Miss America  Q: What about the rest of the costumes? Who else received votes?  A: Well, we had a tie for 3rd Place...  Tied for 3rd Place with 7 votes each were Kimba The Goalie and Mellenhead Chrebet. Close behind the girls with 6 votes apiece were Bob Testeverde, Gen&Rob in a Far Side cartoon (another of my favorites this year), and Roy with Wayne Chrebet on the cover of TV Guide.  The Hogg got 3 votes, Kenny G and Ralph Kingman got 2 each, while no one else got more than one. Five costumes didn't get any votes at all, but I believe that is because we had such a strong field this year. Thanks again for all those who unwittingly participated!  Q: Did the 2nd Quarter end already?  A: Yes.  Q: Well then, who won their divisions?  A: The 2nd QTR winners are as follows...  WorldParty: Ken Davis  dada: Tommy Shiflett  JoeJackson: John Kardel  Cardigans: Dave Schwade  Lemonheads: Tie - Kyle Patterson and Gen Tringali (both Home Team defaulters). Gen will try to break the stalemate by going with Denver over Dallas today.  Q: Now that we have a Thanksgiving issue, will this page be updated BEFORE Christmas?  A: Let's hope so.  Q: Will this be the worst year of picking for the group as a whole?  A: Could be.  Thru 10 weeks of the NFL season, only 18 of the 45 participants have records above .500. First Place has changed hands as often as the Jets Defense forces turnovers. But parity is a good thing. Or is it "parody" that's a good thing, and "parity" that's a bad thing? Either way, the 2001 FBH Championship is up for grabs and could be yours for the taking!  Q: Will Bob Shupp relocate the coveted "Dane Award" in time for his Best Man to have it?  A: Remains to be seen.  Bob was the first winner of the Dane Award in 1999, and got to keep the "trophy" for one year. He was supposed to then turn it over to the 2000 winner/loser Todd Meyer. But Bob claims to have lost the Dane, possibly left behind on it's whirlwind tour of the Jersey Shore. Is this the reason Todd is not involved in FBH in 2001? Could be. And since yours truly is battling hard for that Last Place spot in 2001, I really hope it turns up somehow.  Q: Will there ever be a gathering of MORE FBH'ers than the Mellenhead-Bob Shupp wedding a few weeks ago?  A: I can't imagine there could be.  With the possible exception of a Bunting Family Reunion, never before, or since, have there been more of us in the same room at one time. Our thanks go out to the happy couple for making such an occasion possible.  Q: What's more fun than a barrel full of monkeys?  A: A Grasshopper full of Schwades!! Until next time, from the love-beaded FBH headquarters, it’s Happy Thanksgiving! -- Ralph A Lest we forget Nov. 22, 1963