Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells has been a cautious, deliberate man this season. He has been steadfast in his message to his team; stay on an even keel, don’t get carried away, keep on plugging and don’t, under any circumstances, use the “P” word when discussing future prospects. The time would come for all that if we just keep our heads down and keep moving ahead one day at a time.

 In the locker room after Sunday’s big victory over the Carolina Panthers, the Cowboys’ proud papa couldn’t hold back any longer and, just for a minute, his pride, joy and love for “his guys” leaked out. Yes, it’s now time for the Cowboys to consider the wondrous possibilities of 2004.

 In much the same way as Parcells, I have been a cautious, deliberate man this season. Since mid-September, I have tried to maintain composure in the face of a whirlwind of emotion and circumstance. My mantra has been to keep on plugging, take each day like it was the next game on the schedule (playing them “one at a time”) and don’t ever use the “P” word when discussing future prospects.

 Yes, it’s now time for the Buntings to consider the wondrous possibilities of 2004 --- Kim is having a baby! It’s true. As of Wednesday (11/26), we will have progressed to 15 weeks (one full week into the second trimester) with the stork’s arrival due in mid-May. Other than monitoring fatigue levels and dealing with the re-arrangement of internal furniture, Kim is doing well and we’re both feeling positive, healthy and overjoyed.

 Ergo the FBH dada theme for this season (as in I’m an expectant “dada”, get it?).

 I don’t generally have a hard time conjuring up reasons to celebrate when Thanksgiving rolls around annually but, for obvious reasons, this year, I’m in a blissful state. I thank the Universe for my family and friends, for our health, for safe passage through trouble, for the love amongst us, for the good in the world. Thank you all for the positive thoughts and energy you’ve lavished upon Kim, our unborn child, and me and for making my world as magnificent as it is.

NFL Network
Roy plays Programming Manager

 The NFL Network has been in full swing for a couple of weeks and it looks like the programming lineup has been more than a bit thin. (Good thing they delayed that launch until November, eh?). All I ever seem to see is “Playbook” and "NFL Total Access". C’mon, where are the old NFL films segments? Call John Facenda. Let’s hope they don’t get too desperate or we might see programming ideas like the following:

o Webster: Detroit Lions hall of fame DT Alex Karras is back and so are the laughs! Sadly, Webster is now played by former Bear William “The Refrigerator” Perry. Special guest stars, Webster Slaughter and Mike Webster.

o NFL Action Theater: Re-runs of the classic movies we grew up with. Hold on, we’re not talking Billy Dee Williams blubbering over James Caan in “Brian’s Song” or Jim Brown getting hosed by machine gun fire in “The Dirty Dozen”. We’re not even talking Nordberg (played by O. J. Simpson) careening down stadium steps in his wheelchair in “The Naked Gun”. Instead, Brian Bosworth is “Stone Cold”, Howie Long as the axe-throwing dude in “Firestorm”, Joe Namath is an easy rider in “CC and Company”. Heck, even Joe Klecko was in something.

o Trading Places NFL: Head Coaches swap rosters for two days and rearrange them with the help of interior designers and a carpenter. “Reveals” often end in fisticuffs.

o The Father Murphy Marathon: Rams Hall of Fame DE Merlin Olsen (below) espouses good family values while living alone in a log cabin and trying not to get too emotional so no one remembers he used to try to sell us flowers. Sure to score an (F)TD with viewers!

o Everybody Loves Raymond: Mild-mannered Colts Hall of Fame WR Raymond Berry finds himself bewildered in various predicaments but it always works out in the end. Also starring Rams owner Georgia Frontiere as Raymond’s fast-talking, sassy wife; Melissa Stark as the loving-yet-mischievous daddy’s girl; and Art Donovan as the kindly, yet absent-minded neighbor, Eddie.

o Eight Simple Rules for Dating Lisa Guerrero: When Lisa decides to join the MNF bus and horse trailer traveling party, grumpy and noise-friendly John Madden is kept on his toes while he tries to keep Guerrero from “getting jiggy” with various love interests as they traverse the US. Hilarity ensues. Thanksgiving special features a running double-entendre gag about “hiding the turducken.”

o Can’t Touch This: Reality TV gets a jolt when cameras are installed in the big house to capture every minute of former Cowboy Nate Newton’s incarceration for interstate trafficking. Big Nate’s poignant rendition of “Eye of the Sparrow” (Baretta’s Theme) will leave you breathless. MC Hammer might make an appearance.

o Soul Training: Don Cornelius and Don Coryell (former Chargers head coach) mix def jams with two-a-days all to help you get fit in style (or as they call it, “phit”). While you do squat thrusts to Outkast, Cornelius tries to get Coryell to crack a smile by teaching him the electric slide while Coryell tries to administer a random drug test to Cornelius. MC Hammer might make an appearance.

o Girls Just Want to Have Fun: In this twist on the popular series “Blind Date” NFL cheerleaders are paired up with each other for activities such as pillow fighting in the rain, making an entire vat of pudding blindfolded and something the promo only describes as “slip and slide.” Will love blossom? Former Cowboy WR Michael "Double Coverage" Irvin is your host for all the "booty-licious" action.

o Pecker: Starring Dan Marino. 'Nuff said.

o Keyshawn Millionaire: In this show, 12 unsuspecting teams are lured into the lair of Keyshawn Johnson, and are told that he is a class act receiver who will lead their team to the Super Bowl. Key narrows the teams down to 2, and then tells them that he is a self-centered a**hole who will bitch and complain the moment things aren't going well in the new relationship. The winning team is not obligated to stay with him thru the entire run of the show. With NFL Referee Jerry Markbreit as "The Butler".

o NFL CSI SVU NYPD NCIS OC 24 BCS Hike!: No one knows what this show is about, but since it's got initials in it, it must be a spin-off of something good.

P on the PP
Who reads this crap?