In
This Issue:
Welcome,
Bienvenue, Welkom, Valkommen
or as they say in Jersey, Go Away
Howdy
to one and all, my football family. I hope all of you have been well
and will be back, football batteries recharged, sleeves rolled up,
etc. and ready for a new season of Football Happenings.
Remember,
the season starts this Thursday night (I don’t think I’ll
ever get used to saying that) with a rematch of last season’s
AFC Championship game when Indy visits Super Bowl Champion New England
at Gillette Stadium.
Who can
wait until the first time incidental contact becomes a game-changing
defensive pass interference penalty? Not me!
With so
much time to think about the first 2004 FBH issue, one would think
there would be plenty of interesting stuff to talk about. Well, there
is plenty to talk about, but whether it is interesting or not is your
call. Either way, we’ll give it a bash, as we have for the past
18 years.
The first
big announcement is the love-beaded footballhappenings headquarters
has relocated. Not on the web, mind you, but my new physical address
is 7204 Van Hook Drive, Dallas Texas 75248. The new
place is a treat and has plenty of room so come and see us, either
on game day or whenever you’re around.
Another
big enhancement (thanks to Ralphie, our beloved Assistant Commissioner)
is we now accept PayPal for transaction fees! Isn’t
that high-tech of us?
As I said
in last season’s opening comments, the whole idea is to make
sure, that “FBH is literally your least-demanding relationship
(and, rest assured, your love-beaded Commissioner and sweat-beaded
AssCommish will make sure it stays that way).”
To that
end, I’ll be cashing all those old checks that have been lying
around (except for Scott Connor’s) and vow to make sure we process
any new ones quickly. The bank is now directly on my way to the office,
so if I can just get someone to actually endorse the checks for me,
I’m golden.
We’re
sticking with the same old $25 entry fee, again, the best bargain
in sports.
PayPal,
It's Not Just For eBay Anymore
Paying
your dues, just got a whole lot simpler
Q:
PayPal. What is it? How does it work? What do I need to do to join?
A: PayPal is a great internet service where ordinary people and businesses
alike can exchange money using Credit Cards and/or checking accounts
to transfer money between them. We discussed trying it out for FBH
dues and awards last season, but this year we're going ahead with
the idea.
It will go a long way in helping us collect and keep track of dues,
as well as make award payments in a much more timely fashion.
If
you've ever bought something on eBay, you should already know about
PayPal. PayPal is sort of an on-line version of Western Union. And
if you've ever won anything in FBH, you know that it can take months,
years, decades, centuries before you ever see that cash in your pocket,
wallet, mattress, sock, or wherever you keep your cash. With PayPal,
you'll have your award payment the day you actually win (how cool
will THAT be?).
You DO need
to open a PayPal account to be able to use PayPal. It's free, so that
shouldn't be a concern. And it's totally secure, so don't worry about
that either. To open an account, you will need to provide PayPal a
Credit Card number or possibly just your checking account number.
I've been using PayPal for years now, and have been using my checking
account to provide my funds when buying something on eBay (sending
money) and for accepting funds when selling on eBay (receiving money),
because I haven't had a credit card for several years now (although
a Debit/Credit Card works as well). The only other thing that PayPal
requires you to have is an email address. There's a small fee involved
here (this is how PayPal makes money on the deal), but it comes out
of what we receive as your dues and is only pennies on the dollar.
FBH has decided to eat those transaction fees as part of our "cost
of operation" and so the main prizes might be a few bucks smaller
this year. But for the convenience of it all, we feel it's completely
worth it. (The fee is actually $1.03 per transaction, thanks to Jim
"Early Bird" Dodaro for submitting a payment in
the time I was writing this, so I know this for certain.)
Look for
the PayPal logo at the bottom of the Picks page to submit a payment.
There's no rush, no pressure, take your time, you
don't have to pay this instant or this week, all
I ask is that you pay sometime this season. I'll leave the logo there
for you to pay at your leisure. As Roy stated earlier, here N.F.L.
stands for "Least Demanding Relationship". Um, yea.
For those
of you stuck in the Stone Age who still wish to pay by check, you
can send a check to me or Roy and if you win anything this season,
you'll get paid back by check. But any PayPal user will be paid back
via PayPal, and quickly too, I promise.
Let's
play 20 Questions!
(Actual question amount may vary)
Enough
old business – on to the questions on everyone’s lips
–
Q: If I had told
you last year that the Jets back-up QB would be starting for the Cowboys
in 2004 and the Cowboys starting QB would be the Jets back-up, how
quickly would you have called me an idiot?
A: You would have called me an idiot long before making that silly
statement, but I'd still be right.
Q:
Will Joe Gibbs make an immediate impact in Washington like Bill Parcells
did in Dallas?
A:
I don’t think so – the ‘skins will be lucky to break
.500
Q: Will Miami
suck it up and make the playoffs as predicted without noted “ganga-rian”
Ricky Williams or will the collective weeping and wailing of the whiniest
group in pro sports, the Dol-fans, drag them under?
A: I’m
expecting the latter. That poor, poor Coach Wannstedt.
Q:
Who has worked for/with more Vanek's than Ralph?
A: No one. Now that I am an employee of Business Access (yeah!), I
have officially worked for/with every Vanek, except
Audrey. James Howell is a close
second, but he never worked with Mark. We've both
worked for Dick, and at some point worked for/with
Steve, Jeff, and Kim.
It's a small world, after all.
Q: Will deposed
Giants Coach Jim Fassel make Ravens QB Kyle Boller into a star?
A: It couldn’t hurt. (OK, admittedly, that question wasn’t
on your lips.)
Q:
Will the AFC South produce the Super Bowl champion?
A: The clock is ticking in both Indy and Nashville. (I think they
will.)
Q: Will Tom Coughlin
become a deposed Giants coach before week 10?
A: No,
but here’s hoping the Giants and their fans realize this season
is a lost cause and don’t push to get Eli Manning into the lineup
until 2005. Even Jesus had a couple of years under his belt before
he started performing miracles.
Q:
Will Ralph ever cut his hair again?
A: When the Jets win a Super Bowl, I'll shave my head. (Of course,
by that time, I'll have already gone bald.)
Q: Will bringing
in Javon Kearse and Terrell Owens push the Eagles over the top?
A: Personally, I don’t see how adding another “Freak”
and another “loudmouthed jerk-ass” to that city can help.
Q:
Will the Jets set an NFL mark for most points scored AND most points
allowed in a single season?
A: This season’s going to have tension that will try even the
most battle-tested Jet fans.
Q: With Gunther
Cunningham back, this time as defensive coordinator in KC, will the
Chiefs be involved with a game where you should bet “the under”?
A: Not unless they bring back Curly Culp and Buck Buchanan.
Q:
Will there be any other changes at FBH this season?
A: Not likely. I happily have a job this year so just keeping this
machine rolling thru another season is my main goal. That, and finishing
over .500 for only the 4th time in this, my 14th year in this league.
Q:
After defeating Michigan State in Saturday’s opener, will Rutgers
go 11-0 and become the undisputed National Champion college team?
A: Quite improbable, but RU will be a shocking bowl invitee and Mel
Kiper, Jr. will know who QB Ryan Hart and RB Brian Leonard are by
season’s end. (http://www.scarletknights.com)
Q: Is this a
picture of Skip Shupp playing for Los Angeles in the fifties?
A: Umm…hard to tell with out the spectacles.
 |
Clarence
“Skip” Shupp in 1951:
Nickname “The Flying Amish Boy” never quite caught
on. |
Well, I’m out of here for now. I’m off to figure
out if the four week one home underdogs have an historic advantage
or a disadvantage versus the point spread. (Actually, I think a nap
is more likely.)
Extra
Points
First 3 minutes in Football Happenings (2004)
As always, we welcome new members every year. Know someone who wishes
to be a member of the FBH family? There has never been a better time
to join than right now! (Actually, 1999 was a pretty good time to
join. 2004 is like the 2nd best ever time to join. That is if you
don't consider how good a time 1993 was to join. Now THAT was a great
time to join. Remember? But for those people who will be joining us
now for the first time, let's pretend like THIS is the best time to
join. They won't know the difference, and it'll be our little secret.)
Good
Luck To Everyone This Season !!
