In
This Issue:
Week
Ten Standings
The Song Remains the Same
Our esteemed AssCommish and I have returned from our mid-season hiatus,
another fine Halloween issue by our webmaster in the books.
You may
have not received a written update from us recently but, in regards
to first place, as Robert Plant once wrote, “The Song Remains
the Same.” Ron “Giant Boy” Hade
is leading by 5 games and he has a double-digit lead on all but 6
people (okay, 5 people, 1 cat).
At the bottom
of the spectrum, my Dad is a rotund 29 games off
the lead and is 3 games behind the closest competition. Interesting
side note: Dad is in first place and Ron is second-to-last in the
fantasy football league. I suppose Ron’s putting more energy
into the deal with the cash prize.
Kudos to
the winners of Quarter #2 – Ron made it two straight in the
Rabbi Dad division, Angelo “What’s new pussycat?”
Forgione took honors in the Tom Jones division, Rob
“Sportschrome” Tringali probably now “SportsWood”
over his quarter win, and Coach Tommy in the yin/yang
division rounded out our group of victors. Congratulations to all!
I was going
to mention the overall divisional races, but only one division (Rabbi
Dad) has a cumulative record above .500 -- Hmmm.
Halloween
Costume Results
We're Fired!
The thing that amazes me year after year is that although these
costumes are my own creation, from conception to completion, and I
stare at each one during it's production, there are some that make
me sit back and giggle like a school girl when they are done. When
this occurs, I know I have a winner. This year was no acception. And
when a person being satirized tells me that they actually prefer their
manufactured head to their own head, I know that everyone else will
love it too.
It should come as no surprise then, that this year's winner, appearing
on 14 of the 21 submitted ballots, is...
Roy
as Donald Trump is one of my best creations, and would place
high on a list of All-Time FBH Halloween costumes. The 2nd Place finisher
this year is a surprise however. Somehow, the FBH tattooed
Olympic Buttocks received the second most votes, proving
the theory that Sex does indeed Sell. I know, it's a sin to mix football
and sex and I'm ashamed of myself for even considering doing such
a thing. The FCC is knocking at my door, ready to fine me for it.
Blame Terrell Owens.
Tying for
3rd place overall was the Schwade Boys on Vanity Fair and
Bob Shupp the Gymnast. It's an FBH tradition that
Roy/Bob/Schwades are the funniest costumes. Why is this? These guys
are funny on their own, and not just funny looking. They are quite
inspirational. That might have something to do with it.
Here's some
random thoughts I have on this year's contestants:
Pure genius
on my part, Part 1: Ron Fahrenheit 9/11 Hade. Anyone
who knows Ron knows that he is GW Bush's #1 supporter and a staunch
Republican. To put him on the poster of a movie that goes out of it's
way to knock down GWB could be considered an insult to someone with
less of a sense of humor. Instead, Ron thanked me for not putting
him in a Red Sox uniform. A life-long Yankees/Giants/Rangers fan,
Ron married into a Democratic Mets/Jets/Islanders(Devils) family over
20 years ago and has taken his share of ribbing from the Shupps. Thru
it all, Ron has stuck to his own beliefs and my hat goes off to him
for that.
Bob Shupp
recognized that his head was on the body of US Olympian and controversial
Gold Medal winner Paul Hamm. [Bob: "If
I do win the Gold Medal, and a recount shows that the South Korean
actually beat me, I will stamp my feet, act selfish, through a hissy
fit and not allow the award be taken away from me. I trained very
hard for this, and in my mind competed fairly".]
Both Boobie
and Dave Schwade were wrong in thinking that I screwed up and credited
John Schwade as the third Schwade brother on the Vanity Fair cover,
believing it was instead a shot of John's twin brother Steve.
Pure genius
on my part, Part 2: Dyalan Beamon on the body of
Long-Jumper Bob Beamon. The photo used is actually a shot of Bob Beamon
from the 1972 Olympics. Any relation?
One of my
favorites this year was that of Ken Brown writhing
in pain after failing to finish his weight-lift attempt. When putting
together these costumes, I have to use the few photos of people I
have, and of those, need to match the head to a body in proper facial
expresion and head positioning. This one seemed like a natural result
of that concept. And while this picture came in 4th place overall,
a possible problem with the ballot could have kept it from receiving
more votes than were calculated. Sorry Ken, blame the Red States.
And so another
FBH costume contest is behind us. My thanks go out to everyone who
voted, and for all the kind words for my efforts. Knowing that y'all
get such a kick out of these costumes each year is my reward. Wish
me luck in bringing them to you again in 2005.
Chance
to Win Jet-isoned
"You play to Tie the game"
The
Jets start 5-0 and have now lost three of their last four. And now
they’re underdogs to Cleveland? That’s cold. (I mean the
treatment, not Cleveland.)
You can
understand failing to snap the Patriots win streak in Foxborough.
The loss at Buffalo was vexing, but that’s the AFC East for
you. But last week’s 20-17 OT loss to Baltimore, after leading
14-0 with the ball on the Ravens’ 17-yard line and 2 minutes
to go in the first half, was just flat out wrong.
First of
all, with Ralph as my witness, I personally vouched for Quincy Carter
before the start of Sunday’s game. In fact, here’s my
e-mail correspondence with Boobie on Tuesday, November 9:
-----Original
Message-----
From: Robert Shupp [mailto:RShupp@291digital.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 2004 1:41 PM
To: RBunting@Business-Access.com
Subject: Quincy? Yeah? Yike? Jets RIP?
I
didn't expect the season could hinge on him. How do you feel about
this? Keep in mind, he's new to the WCO, and our coordinator, Paul
Hackett hasn't proved to me he is good at changing his game plan
to suit the personnel.
I think the Jets signing Quincy was a coup. Quincy
might have been inconsistent at times last year, but he was also
pretty good at times. He said the right things to the press (humble)
and he did a lot of study and preparation (he would even go to the
film room on Sunday night right after games). I read in the Dallas
Morning News today that Chad said Q has been working and studying
hard and that he has confidence in him. Q seems to have the physical
attributes (mobility, can throw on the run) to run the WCO. (Note:
he realizes that when he's "on the run" -- when a play
has broken down -- that he is more prone to mistakes.)
He's also
had to cope playing for worse teams than the Jets and still done
reasonably well. Having good tools around him means less will be
required of him personally. Having less to concentrate on and gives
him more chance to execute those things well and even go above and
beyond.
Plus,
oftimes a guy who goes from starting to sitting out for a while
comes back with a whole new level of consciousness.
One of
the other things that held Q's development back in Dallas was he
had like 4 offensive coordinators in 4 years. While that hurt him
here, at least he's used to having to pick up a new system and there
may be some WCO elements he's already familiar with.
Frankly,
the Cowboys would have been better off with Q rather than Vinny.
Vinny has been making mistakes this season and at least Quincy is
a young guy with upside potential.
Well,
I'm glad he was able to connect for the TD with Santana while "on
the run" last week. it gives us fans something positive to
think about.
The
big man in Dallas didn't like his style, and I guess the drug test
stuff was BS? Parcells expects Henson to move up I suppose.
Chad
says and does all of the right things. He's all class, 100%. I read
Quincy was working hard too. The Jets need to spin as best they
can this week.
Tough
game for Q to break in Sunday vs. Baltimore. I needed to hear some
positives from you, so thanks!
I guess he failed a drug test, but that was not made public (just
speculation). My take was they didn't want to invest in and build
upon someone they couldn't "trust" (their word) would
be there. From outward appearances, he was taking the drug suspension
seriously (at least during last season) and working extra hard and
being extra diligent. He carries a bible around with his playbook.
How true?
I don't know. Parcells' M.O. has been to use a conservative QB who
doesn't turn the ball over (Simms, Hoestadtler), run the ball like
hell, and play field position. Quincy has been a bit more undisciplined
than that prototype in the past, although he came in this season
saying he had analyzed all the 2003 games and quoted stats on when
his interceptions happened and what percentage happened on broken
plays, etc. so he might have been better on that going forward.
But they released him so quickly in camp it was probably not about
performance or reliability.
Yes, Henson
is the obvious future franchise guy and he must have shown this
for Bill and Jerry to outright release Quincy. Doing it early like
that gave Q a chance to sign elsewhere and gave Bill the opportunity
to clearly establish his starter right at the beginning of camp.
I remember Vinny saying he wanted to go somewhere and start (or
at least compete). I don't know if Bill promised Vinny anything
(like Q's days were numbered) when he signed; Parcells just publicly
talked about increasing QB competition in camp, having a veteran
presence, etc. - standard stuff.
Much
has been made of the decision to kick a field goal at the end of regulation.
To recap, behind by three points, The Jets drove to the Baltimore
4, and faced second and goal with 15 seconds and one timeout remaining.
The decision was made to run a rollout pass play to the right side.
The pass fell incomplete with 8 seconds left. But the play clock was
ready to expire before they could get off the next snap and the Jets
used their last timeout to avoid a delay of game penalty. Then, rather
than risk running another play and running out of time before a game-tying
FG attempt, the Jets kicked on third down and tied the game (it’s
mighty odd to hear your team’s fans boo a game-tying FG in the
last seconds of regulation). The Ravens won after both teams had the
ball twice in overtime.
The responsibility
for all this rests squarely on the coaching staff. Those like Ralph,
feel they were too cavalier in letting the game clock run down that
far (trying to win it right at the end of regulation) and, while I
feel the coaches worked their plan (which I agreed with) very effectively,
Ralph has a valid point.
But let’s
rewind to the second quarter. With a 14-0 lead and a pretty dominating
performance going on, and Quincy Carter 7 for 7 in passing attempts
for 128 yards, we try a halfback option pass that gets intercepted
and returned 70 yards when Lamont Jordan threw into a pack of three
players, none of whom were Jets. After the game, Jordan said he was
trying to throw it out of the back of the end zone, and didn’t
have the arm for it. Coaches have got to make sure anyone attempting
a pass knows what to do. Instead of 17-0, it’s suddenly 14-0
and we’ve got a horserace. In fact, Baltimore takes the opening
second-half kick down the field for a FG on the first series. It’s
now 14-10.
Credit the
Ravens for making defensive adjustments at halftime, but the Jet coaches
got extremely conservative. And with every Ravens defensive stop,
their team’s offense got more momentum. Yes, I understand you
don’t want the second-string QB to lose the game for you, but
you don’t want to stop him from winning it, either.
Back to
the end of regulation. Ultimately, the delay of game issue was also
due to the coaching staff failing to call in the play soon enough;
not Carter’s inability to get the team huddled and to the line
in a timely fashion (this was verified by an anonymous Jet). I just
saw the end of the game on the NFL Network’s Game of the Week
(very cool if your team is on it) and, while you couldn’t tell
when the helmet radio received the call, Coach Edwards was acting
like the players should have been coming out of the huddle sooner.
My question
was, why not take the delay penalty and make it 3rd and goal from
the 10 with a timeout rather than 3rd and goal from the 5 with no
timeout? Would this have caused a 10 second clock runoff? Perhaps.
The Jets
coaches were pretty unanimous about not trying a pass into the end
zone with 8 seconds left.
At the game’s
conclusion, Ralph used the phrase “Typical Jets” but not
me. Those words conjure up the losing culture of the mid- to late-70’s
teams that would always find a way to “snatch defeat from the
jaws of victory.” Not the Jets since 1996. These Jets are usually
well prepared and rarely beat themselves. So, have faith Jet fans.
The rest of the season is going to be grueling. And honk if you love
Quincy.
ABC
Throws in the Towel
Desperate Network Executives
Terrell
Owens used to only make news with outlandish behavior following touchdowns.
Well, this week, he was in the story but he really wasn’t the
catalyst.
By now,
everyone’s heard the outraged comments of a nation stunned by
too much fantasy in their football. In the MNF intro, Nicolette Sheridan,
formerly of Knott’s Landing, now of Desperate Housewives, as
a Cowboy fan, tries to lure Terrell Owens from playing in the game
using, shall we say, “desperate” measures.
To get started,
here’s Boobie and me e-riffing on the subject:
My
team is just not scoring enough points. I'm still kicking myself
for drafting Chad Johnson over T.O. I've learned my lesson: it's
the last time I don't take a guy just because he's a jerk (I know,
Chad's not exactly Mother Teresa) because they're all jerks, anyway.
Chad has about 47 points on the year, T.O. has 115. If I had a sense
of humor, I'd be in first place.
I wish I had TO rather than Marvin. Did you not take him because
he was a [Expletive], or because you thought he might not excel
as an Eagle? I expected great things from Chad Johnson too.
We had T.O. ranked only slightly higher on our draft board (like
#25 vs. #28). I had the sense he was going to have a very good year,
maybe a special year teamed up with Donovan on a good team. But
I couldn't get the sight of Owens standing on the Cowboy star in
Texas Stadium out of my head.
Chad was
very good to us last year. My head was saying Owens but my heart
was saying Chad. Ken said he thought they'd end up being about the
same, stats-wise and that he had a lot of confidence in Carson Palmer.
So, against my best judgment, I went with Chad and Ken seconded
it.
Well,
it turned out that Carson Palmer sucks. Meanwhile, T.O. is getting
chicks to disrobe for him before MNF.
The
sports talk here, WFAN is going nuts over that. ABC should be ashamed
of themselves. (Was she hot? I missed it.)
Hot? I think it was Nicolette Sheridan, one of the "Desperate
Housewives" cast (not Teri Hatcher whose are, apparently, "Real...and
spec-tacular.").
I saw
it in a restaurant with no TV sound. They were in a locker room
and he was dressed in game uniform and she was in a towel. She said
she loved him and he said he had to go. Then she dropped the towel
and he gave a bug-eyed reaction and she jumped up into his arms,
presumably al fresco.
It wasn't
exactly NFL-related, but I wasn't offended.
But what's
next week? A replay of MNF alumnus Frank Gifford's infamous taped
request to his stewardess friend? Chris Berman putting his catch
phrase "He could...go...all...the...way!" to different
use? Or Madden [doing something unholy to] a Turducken?
Almost
makes you miss Lisa Guerrero.
Almost, but not quite.
I
love the fact that a Disney company is such a money whore. They'll
make their money off family values and cartoons when it's profitable
for them, otherwise it might as well be porn. Plus, the whole thing
is nothing more than a slutty commercial for their own ABC slutty
show. Dragging the NFL into it makes the league just as guilty.
At least Janet Jackson's boob didn't say "Archie Bunker's Place."
(Wait, is that show not on anymore?)
I'm not
offended either, but what's next? Will they have a new show next
year called "[compound expletive] Whores”? I know where
to go to see that stuff online, but it's not a surprise when you
may be sitting there with your kids waiting for a game to start.
At least I can see that when I want, and am appropriately prepared.
(OK, make a joking comment here!)
I didn't
even see it and I'm pissed.
They already have a sports show called "[compound expletive]
Whores” - but it's better known by its other title: "Mets
Baseball."
As far
as kids potentially being exposed to porn, hey, this is Texas where
they don't even talk about contraceptives in public schools. I think
the consensus down here would be, "That dog don't hunt."
I was actually
more offended when the camera cut from the locker room embrace to
aforementioned Teri Hatcher and fellow “Desperado” Felicity
Huffman settling in to presumably watch the game, AND THEY WERE IN
CHARGE OF THE REMOTE CONTROL! Everyone knows that’s a man’s
job.
But what’s
this I read that Colts’ coach Tony Dungy said he found the promo
racially offensive? His quote went like this:
“To
me that's the first thing I thought of as an African-American. "I
think it's stereotypical in looking at the players, and on the heels
of the Kobe Bryant incident I think it's very insensitive. I don't
think that they would have had Bill Parcells or Andy Reid or one
of the owners involved in that.”
Now, I don’t
think Dungy was objecting to the interracial aspect of the Sheridan/Owens
duo. If he’s saying he feels Black men should make better choices
about how they are portrayed, I’m all for that. All men, in
fact all people, should do that. (We could stamp out reality shows
and Geraldo.)
But, this
was a minor thing and by bringing attention to it, we magnify the
potential negatives more than if we were just cool with it. Hey America
– let’s chill out a bit more. Like I said, if I had a
sense of humor, I’d be in first place right now.
Sorry, but I gotta throw in my two cents here. First of all, the skit
was so tame it's hardly worth getting all up in arms about. This country
has been steadily moving backwards thru the 20th Century when it comes
to sex and bad language. Tune into any random Soap Opera that airs
in the middle of the afternoon each day and you'll see a towel dropping
eventually. Been that way since I was a kid. Suddently it's completely
taboo? Please. And Heaven forbid if a professional athlete utters
a "four-letter word" in the heat of competition and it goes
out over the airwaves. Think back to when you were young, did you
ever hear an adult use such a word? And what did it to you? Anything
bad? Are you now a foul-mouthed adult because you heard someone use
the "S" word once as a kid? I doubt it.
And why
must Race be brought into every situation like this? So what if this
skit involved a Black man and a White woman? Is this 1904? I would
hope we were past all this racial crap. Should every Black man who
is married to a White woman not allow himself to be seen in public
with her because of some stupid stereotype? By bringing race into
this case, it only helps perpetuate this backward way of thinking.
Now, if Owens was married, and was cavorting with a woman in the locker
room, THEN I could see some problems with it. But even still, this
was a PLAY, an ACT, it was just PRETEND!!
Next, the
idea that the NFL is freaked out over the use of Sex during the presentation
of a football game is the most hypocritcal thing I've ever heard.
How many times during a game do we get close up shots of the cheerleaders
t&a? Why do we have very attractive female sideline reporters?
And why is Levitra/Viagra/Cialis a major corporate sponsor of NFL
games?
Choose
one of these two topics to discuss with your 10 year old while watching
MNF: Why did that woman drop her towel and hug that man?
-OR- What is Erectile Disfunction?
The other
argument in this whole mess is the concept of the networks using a
sporting event to promote their other shows. They ALL do it, to epic
proportions. How many times during the MLB post-season did you see
ads behind the batter for The Simpsons, or any other FOX show? And
what a coincidence...!... it's the cast of That 70's Show here at
the game!... how nice that they hang out together in real life and
how lucky are we that our camera's just happened to spot where they
are sitting? And WOW, how lucky are we to have Jim Belushi and Ray
Romano in the booth with us? Watch a Sunday Night game on ESPN and
you know exactly when the new Dale Earnhart bio-pic is going to air
in 2 months. So now ABC needs to be crucified for trying to promote
one of their shows during our precious football game? C'mon. Since
when has ABC ever thought of MNF as just another game? Ever since
1970 ABC has chosen to place the importance of it's game over all
the other 15 games that weekend. Why do we choose this incident to
suddenly take notice of this trend?
I fear we
as a nation are simply moving backwards when it comes to these things.
Public nudity is rampant on the airwaves in Europe and no one cares.
It's no big deal. I blame the "Red States" and at times
recently I'm ashamed to say that I live in one. "Better Dead
Than Red" is taking on a new meaning in the 21st Century.
NFL
Happenings
The Week in Pictures
With
so much going on in this issue, I've decided to take a break with
the NFL photos in an effort to get this thing published before next
week's issue is due. Please forgive me. This feature will certainly
return in the very near future.
P
on the PP
Of Sox and Taxes
As FBH comes out
of it's mid-season hibernation, the PPP has been going strong and
has been the only new and creative part of this site over the past
3(plus) weeks. Let's take a look back at the poll topics and results
during our time away...
Remember
the World Series? Back in Week #7 I asked for your predictions of
a winner and in how many games. No surprise that absolutely NOBODY
picked the Sox in 4. Coming closest was Mike Hogg, Jeff Burns and
Paul Kessler who all said Sox in 5.
Week
#8 was the week of the Halloween issue and I asked for a pardon of
the PPP that week. Twelve people gave me permission to take a week
off, 1 person said, "No, the PP is the best part of FBH",
and 11 people told me to stop whining and think of a question. That
was the correct answer. [Dave Schwade: "Considering
my picking abilities, the PPP is definitely the best part of the Picks
Page".]
Week
#9 asked what was the most shocking of recent events. In the first
tie in the short history of the PPP, 7 people said the Red Sox World
Series Sweep, 7 people said the Bush re-election without the Court's
involvement, and 7 people said that the FBH Halloween issue being
posted prior to Oct. 31st was most shocking. Only 1 person thought
the Patriots winning streak coming to a close was most shocking. [Paul
K.: "(Most shocking) ...and there was not political banter
in my FBH".]
Lastly,
the PPP asked if you would vote to raise your own taxes to help foot
the bill for a new stadium in your town. No ties here, in fact, it
was the first ever unanimous vote for the PPP when 18 people said
NO! while no one said Yes. Obviously, no one in FBH lives in Arlington,
Texas. This question brought out some angry responses...
[Scott Conner: "They are trying to
get approval to build a new stadium on the west side of Manhattan
for the Jets and also for use during the Olympic games (should they
be successful) using taxpayer funds. In the next life, I am not going
to cut school on Career day!"]
[Jeff
Vanek: "Those poor NFL owners especially the pyscho J Jones.
Maybe they too should withstand a players lockout, like the NHL. I
heard the owner of the TB Lightning is making $4 million more this
year by not having his team play. Professional sports are way out
of control and I think the NHL is going to set things straight. Maybe
we can get rid of the overly GAY NFL analysts like Howie, Terry, Jimmy,
and Biff along the way. Give me a @#$#@#$#@ break, it's football."]
[Michelle
Brown: "I would say suck it up, stop being a wuss and play
football outside in the elements where it is supposed to be played."]
[Dave
Schwade: "As Bob Shupp says, "I love a good outrage."
And, the P on the PP this week is an outrage! When will the local
residents learn to say NO to these billionaire arse wipes? This is
why I said NO to a stadium in Arlington (Virginia)! Now the folks
of D.C. are about to get a big tax bill to build the new Washington
Montreal Expos stadium, just like the folks in Maryland who happily
and blindly paid to build Foreskins Park. Lemmings!"]
Extra
Points
Most velocious 3 minutes in Football Happenings
California
and Texas produce the most Division I college football players. Which
state is number 3? You guessed it, The Garden State, New Jersey. I
learned this fact watching Rutgers lose another close game, this time
to B.C. Despite the losing record and current 4-point underdog to
Navy, RU is a better team than they have been perhaps ever. They’re
up to 89th ranked, just behind The University of North Texas.
[ You may have
noticed that the three overtime games from last week ended in three
different outcomes: a Ravens field goal, a Jaguars touchdown, and
a Bears safety. Pretty cool, huh? In fact, the Chicago 2-point play
was only the second time in NFL history an OT game ended like that.
I don’t know which teams were involved, but I wouldn’t
be surprised if the Jets were somehow on the losing end. (Actually,
if you must know, the first was Nov. 5, 1989, when Minnesota beat
the Los Angeles Rams 23-21 when Mike Merriweather blocked Dale Hatcher's
punt and the ball rolled out of the end zone. So the Bears and Vikes
have two OT wins on safeties to their credit but only one Super Bowl
win.)
[
Yowsa! What has happened to the Cowboys? They’re so bad I can
hardly enjoy the Dolphins being so pathetic. Here are my quick views:
- The line
between a winning and a losing attitude is a fine one.
- Playing a last-place schedule (like Dallas did in 2003) is very
different from playing a playoff-caliber team schedule.
- Having experienced cornerbacks is more than a “nice to have.”
- Roy Williams should pay three-quarters of his 2003 salary to Darren
Woodson.
- No matter how bad things get, keep Drew Henson on the bench this
year.
- Don’t blame Bill Parcells. This season turned on two plays:
The late fumble vs. Pittsburgh and the failed 4th and 1 vs. the
Giants when future Hall of Famer Larry Allen blocked the wrong guy.
Both were mistakes by seasoned veterans who need to perform better.
[
I’m watching the PGA and seeing a Tiger Woods approach shot,
when I notice gold and purple concentric circles on the green surrounding
the pin. Then I find out that it’s the “FedEx reliability
zone.” Sports executives, I beg of you, please, just stop now!
(Naturally, this abomination occurred on Boobie’s favorite network,
ABC. Hey, at least they didn’t delineate Nicolette Sheridan’s
“K-Y Liquid erogenous zones” in the MNF pre-game. Probably
just didn’t think of it.)
[
I have a large backlog of diatribe about the presidential election,
but that might have to wait until next week. Just nobody blow anything
up in the meantime.
[
Happy Birthday to the lovely Miss Kimba and to sister Dute and all
you Scorpio chicks out there.
Extra
Points Special!
We got these
random thoughts from Alex Bunting and John
Schwade since we've been gone...
Alex
Bunting: Well, congratulations to the
whole New England area, Boston has finally blown off the curse of
the Bambino. Now Buckner can sleep.
I was nineteen when I arrived in America just as the Brooklyn Dodgers
had beaten the hated Yankees to throw off their mantle of defeatism.
The boys of Flatbush, Amoros in left Duke Snider in center Carl Furillo
in Right. Don Zimmer at third Pee Wee Reese at short Charlie Neal
at Second and Gil Hodges at first. Roy campanella behind the plate
and Carl Ershine and Johnny Podres and Clem Labine on the mound.
Johnny Podres was our Bill Buckner. He had lost a ground ball "In
the sun" the previous year to blow a game and it was "Wait
till next year" all over again.
The exhilaration I observed in Brooklyn that fall was as if a tanker
had run aground in Red Hook and dumped its cargo of Prozac out onto
the shore and good natured drugdealers had given the pills away free
to every Brooklynite on every street corner. It lasted through Thanksgiving
to Christmas and then, there was a run on gloves and bats as if every
father in Brooklyn thought he might possibly have another Furillo
or Hodges for a son.
Congratulations again, to Ramirez, Damon, Nixon, Mueller, Cabrero,
Bellhorn, Ortiz and Varitek and Shilling, Pedro, Wakefield, Lowe and
Foulke on the mound.
And goodnight and sleep well, Bill Buckner wherever you are!
These from
John Schwade:
I'm pondering the question of why the three most promising QB's in
the NFL are from the Mid-American Conference (the MAC). Chad
Pennington of the Jets, Byron Leftwich of the Jaguars, and Ben Roethlisberger
of the Steelers are all products of the MAC.
Make no mistake,
the MAC is not a second-rate conference. In 2003, MAC teams beat teams
from the Big Ten, SEC, and others. So we shouldn't be surprised that
the MAC is sending players to the NFL. But why the three best young
QB's?
First,
MAC teams do not have as many gigantic steroid-inflated cretins as
those in the major conferences. Once MAC teams expanded the number
of games versus the big-time-steroid programs, they understood they
had to go over the top to win.
Second,
and more importantly, the success of Randy "Playoff? Sure I take
a play off when I don't feel like running" Moss led the NFL scouts
to wonder just who was getting the ball to him so often in college.
The NFL gave Marshall QB's and MAC QB's a chance, which is all they
needed.
In baseball,
even the lowest draft choice gets 200 AB's in a rookie league. In
the NFL, a free agent from a college without a good PR department
would be lucky to get 200 practice plays. They have almost no opportunity
to show their stuff.
The AFL
and then the USFL gave plenty of future NFL Hall of Famers an opportunity
to show their stuff. Think of who started in the USFL: Steve Young,
Jim Kelly, Reggie White, Herschel Walker, Sam Mills (the first guy
from the New Jersey State College Athletic Conference to make the
Pro Bowl), Kent Hull, and on and on. NFL Europe gave us 2-time NFL
MVP Kurt Warner and Super Bowl loser Jake Delhomme. It's amazing what
can happen when you give a player a chance to do more than show his
40-yard dash time and vertical leap.
Success
is a self-fulfilling prophecy, as is failure. Now that the MAC is
sending QB's to the NFL, high school QB's who want to go pro will
be more willing go attend a MAC school rather than sit on the bench
at a big-time school, as Troy Aikman did at Neh-BRASS-kah. (Or did
you forget?) [You forget John, Aikman left Oklahoma to go to UCLA]
--------------------------------------------------------------
Lost opportunity. When the New England Patriots had both Ty
Law and Lawyer Malloy, why didn't they nickname their defense "The
Legal Defense"?
Why has no environmentalist seized the opportunity to get publicity
for their cause by employing the bat of N. Y. Yankee Ruben Sierra?
It is, after all, the Sierra Club!
-------------------------------------------------------
When
Steve Spurrier becomes the Dophins' coach, the first thing he'll do
is trade Jay Fiedler. Spurrier will need a more proficient QB, but
Fiedler would be a valuable back-up for another team.
I
see Fiedler going to either Atlanta, St. Louis, Indianapolis, or Minnesota--all
teams that play indoors. Fiedler playing under the dome would attract
non-traditional fans, especially fans of Broadway musicals, because
they would enjoy seeing...
Fiedler
Under Roof!
-------------------------------------------------------
Sports fans, if you truly love tennis--I mean LOVE TENNIS--check
out the photo of Serena Williams in this month's Esquire (the "Women
We Love" issue).
CAUTION:
If you have heart disease, high blood pressure, or are taking medication
for erectile dysfunction, don't look at the photo unless you have
a portable defibrillator and/or a mop handy.
John, no
sex and football! Have we not made ourselves clear on this point?
