In
This Issue:
Week
Twelve Standings
11 wins? I laugh at your 11 wins!!
I'm sure you woke up Tuesday morning thinking you had a really good
week of picking in Week #12. Maybe you went to work with a bit of
a chip on your shoulder, feeling pretty good about your 11-5 record.
You met up with co-worker #1 to brag about your 11 wins, until he
tells you about his 12 wins. You feel knocked down a peg, but still,
11 wins is very good. You then met up with co-worker #2, brag to him
about your 11 wins, and he laughs and tells you about his 13 wins.
Oy. Now your 11 wins don't seem so impressive. You think to yourself,
well, there's one more co-worker I can brag to, so you go see him.
It's then that co-worker #3 informs you of his remarkable 14 wins!
Then he tells you about co-worker #4 who also had 14 wins! Dios, Mio!!
Such is life at Business Access, LLP.
While our
fearless leader Ron "Republican-Boy" Hade
is still in command of First Place, despite his paltry 8-8 week #12,
it was Dyalan "Did someone mis-spell my name on my birth
certificate?" Beamon and Becky "Sims-Girl"
Tanner who were the BA duo who each scored an amazing 14-2
record last week. The other BA "employees" mentioned in
the above story were James "COO-coo" Howell
with 13 wins and Roy "See-F-Oh" Bunting
with 12 wins. While yours truly, Ralph, had only
11 wins to brag of, I still find myself alone in 3rd place overall
and so they can take their 14, 13, and 12 victories and eat my dust!
I find myself
surrounded by Raimondos, as Mellenhead and her Mom
(Mrs. Dom) are in 2nd and 4th place respectively.
With three other people only a game further back and tied for 5th
place, and Ron slipping a bit, it's shaping up to be an Amazing Race
to the finish.
But back
to the Week #12 results. While I don't have the time or desire to
go thru the stats of years past, I have to figure that this was one
of the best weeks the group as a whole has ever seen. Here's the breakdown:
38 people
made picks (not including the "defaulters")
22 people scored 10 wins or more
14 people scored 11 wins or more
7 people scored 12 wins or more
1 person scored 13 wins
2 people scored 14 wins
Only 1 person scored less than 7 wins, and that person scored
a very embarrassing 3-13 (I won't mention his name, but he spends
most Sundays on the sidelines of an NFL game, taking photos.)
We've got
one week left in Quarter #3 and very tight races in each of the four
divisions. With luck, we'll have an issue next week to announce the
quarter winners. Good luck everyone (except those in my division,
I need the cash!).
Hot
Sports Opinions
Ramblings From Roy
While
ramblings such as what follows from Roy are usually reserved for the
Extra Points section, we've decided to split some of it up and make
a separate column out of much of it. Here's the man himself...
Realizing
the political issue was promised this time around, I pulled back given
that it’s Thanksgiving and not the time to focus on such matters.
Maybe next week after the tryptophan has worn off.
Speaking of the big feast day, the Rutgers Thanksgiving morning
game was great! I hope it becomes a tradition. I also hope the game
eventually has meaning. (Well, it had meaning for UConn, but I mean
for RU.) But, chins up RU! Despite finishing with a 5-game losing
streak to end at 4-7, Coach Sciano’s squad looks better than
any I can remember. My first game in New Brunswick in the mid-70’s
was little more than a poorly attended Ivy league or Division II contest.
Now, we’ve got new, multi-million dollar training facilities,
a sharp looking facelift to the home field, and a team that works
hard on and off the field. Sciano said he took over the “worst
program in college football.” The same can certainly not be
said now and we’re trending in the right direction. We may have
lost most of our conference games, but we were competitive this season.
With QB Ryan Hart and RB Brian Leonard (you’ve got to love him)
returning, at least this time we can look forward to next season with
more than false optimism.
Two more notes on the Cowboys Jekyll/Hyde transformation between 2003
and 2004 – Injuries to Julius Jones and Terry “She-he”
Glenn. In two games, Julius has already shown some flashes of brilliance
(how about that Thanksgiving juke move on two Chicago defenders on
the way to a TD?). Glenn was having a very nice season and was showing
professionalism and making some incredible catches.
While we’re on the subject, let me weigh in on the Cowboys’
QB situation. The press and some highly vocal fans (and I’ve
even heard comments from Jerry Jones) are pressing for rookie Drew
Henson to become the starter. They say the season is over so we should
look at the future (which a 41-year old Vinny is not). I understand
their frustration at being on the QB odyssey since Saint Troy stopped
taking snaps in 2000. Perhaps it is the expectation of success, but
the press/fans around here have always been too eager to change things
at the first hint of trouble.
To this let me say this: NO NO NO NO NO! First of all, the season
is not over (yet). The Cowboys are 4-7 and, as mediocre as the NFC
is this year, an 8-8 record might sneak in to the postseason. Second,
Bill Parcells is a bone fide football expert, so I trust him to evaluate
talent over some sports columnist who is looking for something sexy
to write about. Bill sees Henson in every practice. C’mon, the
guy hasn’t played competitive football in three years and, despite
the success of other NFL-ers you’ve seen, you can’t just
plug in a rookie QB and expect good things. For every Ben Roethlisburger
there’s multiple Ryan Leafs. Even those who go on to become
great QBs (Aikman, et al) don’t fare well in their first season.
The fact is, Vinny does represent the best chance for the Cowboys
to win. Critics say Henson was taken out too soon on Thanksgiving,
before Dallas had a chance to find their rhythm. More accurately,
Chicago did not respect Henson’s passing game at all and was
able to blitz and otherwise confuse him into ineffectiveness. When
Vinny came in, The Bears had to respect the veteran and that opened
up the field for the offense. Plus, if this were truly a lost season,
I’d rather lose the rest of the games this year behind Vinny
(or Tony Romo) at QB than Henson. Henson needs time to absorb information,
not hits from blitzing, sack-minded linebackers.
Speaking of sack-minded linebackers, the roughing the QB penalties
have gone too far. I’m staunchly in favor of protecting the
QBs, but you have to let the defense play. Players are bigger and
faster these days, and defenders can’t just pull up after running
40 yards at top speed.
In
an example that happened right in front of our very own NFL photographer
guy last Sunday (yes Rob, Ralph spotted you Live!), say you’re
Giants linebacker Carlos Emmons and you’re busting ass to the
sideline to keep Atlanta QB Michael Vick from turning the corner.
When you’re two steps away from Vick, you find yourself in a
double bind. Either you continue to pursue the QB to push him out
of bounds or you pull up and probably let him escape. Emmons, following
what probably every coach he has ever had taught him, followed through
with the play, which came right along the sidelines just after Vick
released the pass. Instead of forcing a fourth down punt, and despite
the fact that Emmons even raised his arms before contacting the NFL
superstar, a 15-yard penalty was called and a crucial Falcons’
drive was extended. Folks, that’s not football.
There is also a difference between a blow to the head and inadvertent
arm-to-helmet contact that might happen after trying and failing to
block a pass (more Football 101 technique). The last time I noticed
this, it happened in the Jets/Cleveland game, again extending a drive
instead of forcing a fourth down.
If the rationale for these “rules” is to protect
the QB, why has the “in the grasp” rule all but disappeared?
Seems nowadays, QBs can throw from nearly a prone position. (Not that
this worked out for Cleveland Jeff Garcia, who injured himself making
such a throw last Sunday, or in several of NO’s Aaron Brooks’s
blooper-reel moments from this season.) Looks like the days of tracking
QB “hurries” and “knockdowns” are over to
be replaced with “bothers” and “annoyances”.
HEY NFL -- LET THEM PLAY!
Don’t
faint, I actually have something nice to say about the Dolphins. I
watched a good deal of their game vs. Seattle and they really gave
a brave and game effort. My favorite moment, though, (other than Miami
losing) was QB A. J. Feely, who was barely hanging in there with a
painful hip pointer, getting injured during a TD celebration when
his receiver patted him on the bum. Feely looked as though he’d
been knifed in the buttock.
Move over
Joe? It might be time to change the photo in the “All-Time Greatest
Jet” picture frame to Curtis Martin. He’s already in the
sixth leading rusher in NFL history (he’ll be passing Jerome
Bettis any day now) and a 4-time Pro Bowl selection (twice with NY).
He is about to eclipse Don Maynard for the franchise record for total
yards from scrimmage (he currently has 11,142). Perhaps most importantly,
Curtis has missed only one start in his 7 seasons with NY. And the
case keeps getting better… [Now if he could just guarantee
a Super Bowl victory. -- Ralph]
Yesterday’s
news department: I’ll tell you one group that was not outraged
by the now-infamous towel dropping incident, Eagles fans. They’re
so calloused; they boo Santa Claus. A little implied nudity? Chump
change! They would have been okay if T.O. had even “slapped
that bitch up” a little bit.
But the
Philadelphia loyal still have to be concerned. Despite the 9-1 record
and unanimous Super Bowl predictions among TV wags, the ghosts of
the past must have citizens of the “City that Loves You Back”
(albeit an unrequited love) wondering which team is going to catch
fire long enough to douse the Philly flame this season. My guess is
it will be Green Bay. But even if Philly does as expected and gains
a Super Bowl berth, my money is on whoever comes out of the stronger
AFC. Hey, Philadelphia! As perhaps the most famous Eagle of all time
(and Ken Davis' drinking buddy) Don Henley once posed, “Why
don’t you come to your senses?” (Okay, there went my chances
of getting a Christmas card from Mark “Andy” Reid.)
Scattershots
Kenny D. goes off again
Scattershooting
while surfing the NFL games last week:
I could have sworn I heard this slip up last week but I'm not 100%
sure. I was putting up my Christmas tree while listening to Phil Simms
broadcasting the Ravens-Patriots game. He was describing the gloves
with rubber palms and fingers that the linemen were wearing in the
muck and I did a double take when I thought he said the glove 'fits
like a rubber'. Did I imagine that??? Please, anyone who caught that
let me know if that's what he said or not.
Hard
to believe that Mike Vrabel, a linebacker for the Patriots, has more
touchdown catches (1) than Amani Toomer and Ike Hilliard combined.
Speaking
of the Giants, New York's Norman Hand suffered a groin injury Sunday.
The obvious headline "Giant Hand Pulls Groin" was not forthcoming,
but the Dallas Morning News did comply with a "Hand pulls Groin"
blurb.
My
picks have been wildly erratic, as they are every year. But my proudest
accomplishment was that this week I picked the Saints, Raiders, Bengals,
and Dolphins to all cover in the same week, and they did. Now if I'd
just taken the Redskins.
This
Peyton-Manning-touchdown-record-quest thing is getting out of control.
The Colts offense is amazing, especially when you consider that basically
Manning is coming up to the line and calling pretty much every play
as an audible based on the coverage the defense is playing. But it
seems like even when they get inside the 5 yard line, they are purposely
calling pass plays to try to get Peyton the record. Enough already.
Hurry up and break the record so we can get it over with. (Of course,
if you consider that I am a jealous Edgerrin James Fantasy Football
owner it may have something to do with this comment). Then again,
Manning had more touchdown passes than incompletions on Thanksgiving,
so I should probably shut up.
When
Marino set the current record with Miami, they did the same thing.
He would often throw rather than run when they had the ball inside
the 5 yard line. I'd be curious to compare the stats of Danny-boy's
yards-per-TD pass that year to Manning's this year. I've also noticed
that many of Peyton's TD's are 15 yard throws with 20+ YAC's (yards
after catch), but you can't blame him for that.
Although a lot has been said on this already, I'm still in awe of
Brett Favre starting 200 consecutive games. That's twelve and a half
straight seasons. As a quarterback! Including several games with a
broken thumb on his throwing hand. Think about it.
And
he still found time to be in "There's Something About Mary."
I know that injuries have decimated the Chicago
Bears' quarterback corps. But Jeff George??? He hasn't taken a snap
since 2001 and only played 2 games then. Of course, he's probably
still better than the guys that have been playing there.
Apparently,
Bob Avellini was unavailable for a comeback.
Oakland's Jerry Porter seemed to have
a hard time describing the snowy field conditions in Denver. "It
was hell out there", he said, "But it was cold, too".
ESPN's
new Pass Tracker feature is the worst overuse of technology I've seen
in a long time. Who gives a crap about the "arc" of the
pass? Roy and Ralph aptly pointed out earlier this season that the
'too many lines on the field' technology was another prime example.
If they want to impress us with their use of technology, quit editing
the 'Miked up' segment and let us hear all the choice dialogue that
some of these players are coming out with.
I'm not as worn out by the graphics during replays (in fact
I think the arc is kinda cool); I just don't want clutter to get
in the way while watching the actual play. I think the newest technology
ESPN should go to is the two man announcing crew. The problemo with
Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire is they both feel the need to comment
after every play and they end up either fighting or saying dumb
stuff just to keep their turn. The three-way rarely works, although
it does with Buck/Aikman/Collinsworth, mainly because they listen
to each other better and are confident enough to not always have
to speak. So I say, keep Mike Patrick for play-by-play and let Suzie
Colber do the color.
You
liked the arc??? When they showed me the 'pass tracker' my intelligence
was insulted. Watch that sucker 5 times in a game and tell me how
much you got out of it...
The
Arc didn't do anything for me. Didn't bother me either. But Maguire
has become one of my all-time least favorite announcers. I began
hating him years ago on NBC and I still hate him now. Next ESPN
game, take notice how many times he says "I just wanna say
this..." or "I'm gonna tell you something..." or
some sort of variation. Just friggin' say what you have to say,
Paul, and get it over with. It's not adding to the enjoyment of
the game, by any means. So take your 20 seconds of BPP (babble-per-play)
and get it over with.
NFL
Happenings
The Week in Pictures
This
week, the Uniform Guru takes a quick look at some of the new uniform
looks we got this past weekend.
P
on the PP
Drop The Towel / Thanksgiving Night Football
Based on the results
of the Week #11 PPP, we've got some very promiscuous people in this
group. In light of the MNF Terrell Owens Towel Dropping incident,
we asked if you would drop your towel for Mr. Owens. One person said
that they would indeed drop their wrapping for TO, while 5 others
said they would not. But, 17 people said they might do something similar
for "someone else". No telling if that "someone else"
would be another NFL player, Roy, or just exactly who. Perverts!!
Week
#12's PPP question concerned the idea of adding a third game in Prime
Time on Thanksgiving. This concept has been brought up in years past
by people other than, but including, me. Recently, Paul Tagliabue
has mentioned this idea as the NFL is negotiating their TV contract
for Thursday/Saturday/Monday games. Personally, I think adding a third
game on Turkey Day is a great idea. Sure, T-Day is about spending
time with family and such, but all that gets fairly tiring by 8pm.
You've had a day filled with Food/Family/Football. Then the evening
arrives and now what? What's on TV? Nothing. What a great time for
another NFL game! Chances are you saw some of the
Lions game and some of the Cowboys game. Maybe you
saw all of one game, but missed
all of the other. Dinner was being served at some point during these
games, so this happens to everyone. Also, other NFL owners have voiced
complaints that it's unfair to every other team that Dallas and Detroit
get home games on T-Day. Adding a third game, using two random teams
each season, would solve that problem. And don't doubt for a minute
ABC would sell more advertising for an NFL game that night than whatever
other programming they put up now. And really, isn't that what the
NFL is all about? [<-- Sarcasm]
The
PPP results on this question: 18 people said NO to a 3rd T-Day game,
while 14 people said YES. (This doesn't include the 3 people who changed
their mind between Thursday and Sunday.) Watch out you nay-sayers,
the NFL will be playing 3 games on T-Day by 2006. You read it here
first.
Just
a few comments from the past 2 weeks to print here:
Jeff
Vanek: I live about 5 miles from the Palace of Auburn Hills,
I heard the national guard being brought after the Pistons Pacers
game, tanks were rumbling down I75 to control the fans, there was
tear gas everywhere...oh wait that was in 1968 in another part of
the city.
Mellenhead
(would drop her towel for): Wayne Chrebet! But I'm worried Wayne will
slam into me like he did to the bully Ray Lewis last weekend! then
he'll say "Best Wishes"
Dave
Schwade: Any chance we'll see a huge brawl in the Detroit
Lions game today, including players climbing into the stands? I hope
so. This is the real reason I watch sports! Let's have more idiot
fan involvement, followed by berserk players charging into the stands
- whether instigated or not! Why else would you go to a sports game,
but to be involved fully with the players in a brawl. Certainly not
for the gamesmanship.
More
from Dave: Don't mess with tradition: No primetime
game on Thanksgiving. Besides, after all that turkey and alcohol,
there is no way I would remain awake for a primetime game. I can hardly
make it into the fourth quarter of the FIRST game! Happy Thanksgiving
to all, and to all a good night.
Ron
Hade: It is weird that you ask this question. When we got
home on Thanksgiving at around 9:00pm I would of loved to have the
third game. Then again how much football can those non supportive
wives take? Maybe a third game would take away family time but I still
say YES!!
Can't
get enough Dave? Here's more: I might never not have
voted in the affirmative before I voted in the negative.
Bob
Shupp: I think one of the two earlier games should be moved
to Prime Time. Three Thursday games will screw up the NFL schedule
too much.
More
Mellenhead: I think it's very sad when the 2nd game
is over. Peyton Manning to take the record away from the prick Marino.
Peyton for President!
I
second those emotions, Cindy! -- Ralph
Extra
Points
Most precipitous 3 minutes in Football Happenings
[
Fun with names. Have you seen the commercial where Randy Johnson and
Roger Clemens get combined into one pitcher who throws the ball so
hard it can go through the backstop? We can laugh now, but when we
see the headline: “Steinbrenner signs Clemonson” we won’t
be so pleased.
[
Miami has a WR named Wesley Welker. I’m not kidding. Apparently,
he’s legally deaf in one ear. Okay, that part Ralph made up.
Note: A quick scan of the Dolphin roster did not uncover Roscoe Ward,
Herman Plunkett or Chris Barasopoulos.
[
By the way, while Ralph and I were simultaneously watching the Jets/Cleveland
and the Dallas/Baltimore games, I predicted that the combined over/under
on both games was 31 points. Things were looking good at halftime
(Dallas led 3-0 and Cleveland led 7-0) until Baltimore broke things
open and punk'd the Cowboys. Astonishingly, I was able to stay awake
during both games (I cannot say the same for my compadre).
[
Boobie’s fantasy football league is in full competitive swing.
With only 4 weeks before the playoffs begin, 6 of the 10 teams are
still in the playoff hunt (top 4 advance) including Jeff “C.
Montgomery” Burns, Boobie, Dane “Fabulous Phoney”
Schwade, Dad, and the defending champs (Kenny D. and yours truly).
Updates to come in future weeks (unless, of course, our team starts
doing poorly). [Proving that FBH success does not carry over into
Fantasy success, Ron and Ralph are in 8th and 9th place out of 10
teams.]
[
On a personal note, I’ve now completed 99.0% of GranTurismo3.
After over 20,000 miles, I’m as finished as you can be without
actually being finished, having completed everything except for winning
the final Professional-level race (in which I have a second place
finish). (78 laps on Monte Carlo in a Formula-1 race is not for the
faint of heart). I just need to find another 1 minute, 25 seconds
(over the course of nearly two hours) from somewhere and I’ll
be ready to tackle GT4 when it comes out in December.
[
Happy belated Birthday to Jeff “Roll With It”
Vanek. Peace and Love to all!
Just
wanted to take this opportunity to mention that Dec. 7th will mark
5 years of Sonya and I being together as a "couple".
How she's put up with me for this long, I'll never know. I'm just
glad she has. Happy Anniversary, Baby! I love you, and thank you.
