In
This Issue:
Week
Thirteen Standings
QTR3 Winners
In reality, I think the entire FBH family is on steroids this season.
Sure, Ron "Balco" Hade has had a fine FBH
career of picking games. He's had some bad seasons, but a quick glance
at the All-Time Standings finds Ron at the very top of those of us
with 10 years or more under our belts. And like everyone's favorite
alleged steroid-induced homerun hitter, Barry Bonds, Ron seems to
be getting better with age. How can this be? He must be on "the
juice". There is no other explanation. Well, there's probably
a dozen other explanations but I'm going to choose to ignore them
and throw around a few completely unsubstantiated allegations. That's
why I'm here. Besides, as long as he keeps up his several game lead
on the rest of us, I'll have nothing new to write about.
And what
of the rest of us? Twenty people have 100 wins or more. Twenty-nine
of us are .500 or better. Ten of us are within 3 games of second place.
Each of the four divisions as a group are over .500. In QTR3, everyone
in the Rabbi Dad division was .500 or better. And even a Cat is among
those tied for 4th overall. I'm sorry people, we just ain't that good.
It's time for us to step up and admit that we've had a little extra
help this season from our friends at BALCO.
As we race
around the divisions, we're pleased to announce a new batch of winners
for QTR3. Top scorer overall was Jeff "Giambi" Vanek
with a strong 41 win performance taking the Yin/Yang Division. Paul
"Marion Jones" Kessler took the Rabbi Dad Division
with his 37 wins while Mikey "Tim Montgomery" Joyce
sprinted to a win in the Tom Jones Division. The Mr. Preston Division
is yet to be decided as Boobie must face off in a
tie-breaker showdown with his own Mother-in-law Mrs. Cap'n
Dom.
It's going
to be wild ride to the finish, kids. So load up on the Lasix (oh wait,
that's for horses, nevermind), take some supplements, and don't forget
to rub on "the clear" as we begin the long stretch home
toward the finish line. Best of luck everyone! (Now line up for the
pee test.)
Scattershots
Ramblings
from Roy, Kenny D., and Ralph
Last
week we started something that may turn into a regular feature here
in Football Happenings. We took Ken Davis' Scattershots and Roy and
I added our own comments/thoughts to his opinions, sort of like a
round-table discussion. We liked the way it came out, and decided
to keep trying it. Possibly a weekly feature, possibly not. For this
week, we're all pretty busy and we're lucky to have an issue at all.
But we did have time to each choose a rock to hide behind and "scattershoot"
at each other...
Going back to the Thanksgiving game,
I noticed the 'GSH' initials on the Bears uniforms, in memory of Papa
Bear George Halas. My question is - why was Jake Plummer fined for
wearing Pat Tillman's uniform number on his helmet while the Bears'
entire team sports George Halas' initials? Someone tell me the difference
please.
Oh Halas...I thought they were advertising a steroid. While I think
I know the answer, Ralph is the uniform guru, so I will defer to his
response. Also, on Thanksgiving, I was wondering why The Bears had
the "GSH" on their arms when they were wearing their circa
1945 uniforms as Halas was not dead back then. I don't know why I
think of such things. Dick pointed out to me The
Bears of that period had pure black helmets, not with the funny-looking
white "C" on the side. Why add something that makes it inaccurate?
How hard would it have been to just leave the helmets black?
I did notice the GSH on the helmet but not on the arms. My only explanation
to this is the fact that since he died, the Bears had had the GSH
on the arms, and since I didn't see it on the arms but rather on the
helmet, I figured they simply moved it for one game. The NFL must
have given permission for this since it's part of the "special
uniform". The fact that the entire team had it instead of just
one player is what makes all the difference between this and Plummer
with the Tillman "40". Not that I agree with any of that
crap, but that's my best explanation. Also... I never knew the Bears
wore Orange jerseys. I think it was just 1 season. And yea, I agree
their helmets were pure black in those days, I can't say for sure
the "C" wasn't there. If the helmet is close enough to today's
helmet, they most likely just wore their typical helmet and changed
the decal (just like the Lions).
I read the NFL was cracking down on Roethlisberger
who writes "PFJ" ("Playing for Jesus") on his
cleats . Although he has been doing this since junior high, Tagliabue
and company don't care. Let's hope they don't start testing for traces
of lip balm or that dude on the Visa commercial is headed for suspension.
It seems like every year there are a couple of teams that I pick wrong
against the spread almost every single week. This year's bugaboo's
- the Redskins and the Buccaneers. Does anyone else have this problem?
The Redskins have been getting me every time, too. I started out saying
Gibbs was going to crash and burn, and they come out like gangbusters.
Then I switch and they play like a JV team. Sadly, they also don't
qualify for the "If you think they're going to win, pick against
them strategy" that I had success using with The Eagles about
10 years ago. New Orleans was also getting me early on, but now not
so much as they have been consistently bad.
I have had this in years past. For a long time, I could never pick
the Eagles correctly. (Who am I kidding, I couldn't pick ANY team
correctly!) I can't say that any one team has been my nemesis the
past few years tho.
I
was amused last week when I heard one of the commentators ask 'Who
will be this years Carolina Panthers?', i.e. the surprise team to
make the playoffs and advance past expectations. My answer is 'Why
not the Carolina Panthers???'. They've overcome season-ending injuries
to both their tailbacks and their best wide receiver, and they are
playing better now than they have all year. Much credit should go
to John Fox and Jake Delhomme.
They
sure deserve kudos when they are now working on their 5th string running
back and he's "Goings" well for them. Being there (in the
playoffs) does a lot to transform a team. They've seen it know what
it takes and they are "less afraid to win" -- if that makes
any sense. I also think Delhomme gets no pub, he' s just a gamer.
And give me what Mushin Muhammad has been eating over the last month
- the guy is unconscious.
Not to defend any commentator on what any of them ever say, but I
think I heard the same thing, and their partner's reply was in fact,
What about Carolina? My question is, why does there have to be a "This
year's ______" every year? I don't see anyone worth piddle appearing
in the Super Bowl for the NFC besides Philadelphia. Let's face it,
the NFC basically sucks this year. Put New England/Pittsburgh/Jets/Indy(?)
up against anyone other than Philly in the Big Game and it's a snoozefest
runaway by halftime. Not even another 38 year-old boob popping out
will save that game.
I had to love Jeff Fisher's approach
to the Titan's game vs. Indianapolis last week. He knew that the Titans
would have to score 40+ points to even be in the game with Indy. So
he pulled onsides kicks the first 3 times the Titans kicked off, and
recovered two of them. Then aired it out to the tune of 3 Drew Bennett
TDs in the first quarter. Except for a blocked FG return for a TD
the Titans would have been tied with the Colts at halftime, an accomplishment
in itself.
The onsides kicks were a GREAT idea. As Fisher put it, it didn't matter
if Indy got the ball on the 45, they were going to be there in a couple
of plays anyway. Reminds me of Bill Cowher pulling the onsides vs.
Dallas in the first half of the 1995 Super Bowl. If you ever see the
NFL Films special on that game, you will be so impressed with Cowher
during the entire game.
I think the on-sides kick is used way too little. It rarely works
when it's expected, but often works when NOT expected. The best onside
kicks I've ever seen was when the kicker simply pushes the ball forward,
follows it for 10 yards, then falls on it. Part of the problem with
the onsides kick is these days they kickoff from their own 30 instead
of the 40 or 35 in years gone by. Risking the other team getting the
ball on YOUR side of the 50 is bit much to ask of your defense to
stop. One quick pass puts you in FG range and your just asking for
trouble. The other side of Fisher's genius last week is that he obviously
had zero faith in his Defense to stop the Colts at all.
I think Fisher accurately surmised that his, or any other defense,
would not be able stop Indy, so the best way to keep the score down
was to keep the ball away from them. Good point by Ralph on the element
of surprise.
Cincinnati's
T.J. (Hooker) Houshmandzadeh scored a touchdown and then was flagged
for excessive celebration after he and Chad Johnson bumped chests.
Johnson described coach Marvin Lewis' reaction to their penalty. "He
said, 'Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep',".
While I got plenty sick of the "Fun Bunch" of the Redskins
in the early 90's, the NFL is going WAY too far in penalizing these
TD celebrations. "No Fun League", indeed. They decided that
you can't have multi-teammate celebrations and so now we get the "Look
at me! Look at me! I'm so wonderful!!" crap like T.O. displays
every week. It's a TEAM game, let the 11 guys on the field that helped
produce the TD celebrate it for a few seconds, and you'll see a lot
less of this individual crap.
Funny numbers this week:
-
Carolina running back Nick Goings set a Panthers
record Sunday with 36 carries. Goings played in 15 games last year
and totaled 10 carries for the season.
The
ball is heavy, you wear a guy out making him carry it too much.
-
Julius Jones has 3 straight 30 carry games, something Emmitt or Tony
Dorsett never did.
-
The Redskins have scored 18 touchdowns this season. The Colts have
scored 57.
Manning has 18 TD passes in the last 4 weeks alone!
The Redskins suck, and Joe Gibbs has been gone too long, the
game has simply passed him by. Back to NASCAR, Joe!
Poll question 1: Which 5-7 NFC team has the best shot at making
the playoffs?
1) NY Giants 2) Dallas 3) Detroit 4) Chicago
5) Carolina 6) Tampa Bay
One may make the playoffs, but I don't
have to watch. Being the homer I am, I'd say Dallas has a chance,
although it would have to be with 8-8 because I don't see them winning
in Philly, even with the point spread. Giants are still experimenting,
Detroit has the coaching and RB Kevin Jones looks good, but they are
not consistent or deep enough. Chicago? Chad Hutchinson had a good
game for Dallas once, too. Carolina is the hottest team in this group
so I'd say they do. TB got a little lucky with Brian Griese, but that's
fading out. They miss Keyshawn.
Makes
no matter. Ain't none of the above getting past the First Round. Eagles-Packers
NFC Title Game.
Poll question 2: Who is the Fantasy Football Bust player of the year?
1) Clinton Portis 2) Santana Moss 3) Kevin
Barlow 4) Torry Holt 5) Matt Hasselback 6)
Fill in the name of the guy that screwed your team
Any of those are good choices. Let's not
forget a lot of people took Priest Holmes #1 overall and he has been
injured for a month or so.
I
can only speak for my team, and Santana Moss has produced Zilch for
me. Add Amani Toomer to that list too. Oh, and when I drafted Michael
Vick, I said, "This pick makes or breaks my season". Well,
I'm 3-10, so that should tell you something.
For
anyone who doubts that late season collapses are part of the "old
Jet" mentality, check out this quote from Chad Pennington: "Going
into the next stretch, we're excited. And we're not so worried about
who we are playing because they have to play the New York Jets too,
and we're a good football team. They have to worry about us just as
much as we have to worry about them." Somehow, I don't see
Pat Ryan saying the same thing.
Somehow, I don't see the Steelers and Patriots
saying the same thing either.
I
predict that The Jets will win at least one of those games. You're
used to me saying crazy stuff, but what do you think about that?
I think the Jets lose at Pittsburgh and have a chance to beat NE at
home in week 16 - if NE has clinched playoff advantage(s) they'll
start Rohan Davey or Gino Capaletti or somesuch.
Or, to celebrate the first year after changing from Boston to New
England, Jim Plunkett might be able to reform the 1971 Patriots with
Carl Garrett, Jim Nance (not that one) and, of course, Randy Vataha...
but only if he starts passing out the Rexall Super Plenamins, pronto!
More
on those Mighty Jets... New York is outscoring opponents 143-78 in
the second half... I couldn't find where I had read this, but I believe
the Jets have shut out opponents in the second half 4 or 5 times already
this season. In the past three games, Donnie Henderson's defensive
unit has allowed just two touchdowns and 17 points. Of course RB Curtis
Martin is having another fine season, his 1,305 yards is already third
highest total in his 7th Jets season and it looks to be a sure bet
that he'll surpass his personal best of 1,513 yards from the 2001
season. After only 12 games, Curtis's 10 TDs are his most in a campaign
since the 2000 season. Hmm, defense and a strong ground game... there's
some sort of slogan about that, isn't there?
"It's
not over until the Jets go home losers." Is that the slogan you
speak of?
NFL
Happenings
The Weak in Pictures
This
week, we've got more contributions from Ken Davis.
We need to find more for Ken to do, he's got way too much free time
on his hands these days. This, too, could become a regular feature
for FBH. Old-time Football Cards! (If you have a suggestion for future
cards, feel free to ask.)
P
on the PP
Do Steroids Help? Should We Test?
If we here at the
LBFBHHQ were looking for that one controversial topic that would divide
our little little community, I do believe we've found it. Asking two
separate questions on the same topic brought out a host of responses.
Some of you responded to both questions, while some of you responded
to one and not the other. Either way, we've got a split decision.
When
asked if you thought taking Steroids helped in picking NFL games...
9 people said Yes, while 8 people said No
When
asked if you thought FBH should begin testing for Steroids...
9 people said Yes, while 9 people said No
Here's
the breakdown on those who responded to both questions:
Yes they
help, Yes to testing = 5 responses
Yes they help, No don't test = 3 responses
No they don't help, Yes to testing = 2 responses
No they don't help, No to testing = 3 responses
Here's
your weekly batch of comments:
Paul
Kessler: Nothing interesting to say.... except did you know
that Cricket takes 4 days to play.... CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
Bob
Shupp: If FBH begins testing, it'll justify the yearly pee
sample I've been sending you guys each Christmas. Enjoy! (PS, I picked
today without "the clear")
[Keep those samples coming, Bob. They get better every year! ---
Ralph]
Dave
Schwade: By "steroids," do you really mean "alcohol"?
And, by "FBH ... testing for steroids," do you really mean
coming to my house and checking on what type of beer I drink while
making picks? Then, SURE! Come on over everyone! If I'm not here,
I'm at BALCO supermarkets getting more steroids.
Ken
Davis: Believe me, if steroids were to improve one's ability
to pick games, I would have tried them long before now.
Extra
Points
The Least Lethargic 3 minutes in Football Happenings
[ Trivia
Question #1: While Indy has most points scored in the NFL so far this
season with 431, how many points has the second place team scored?
(answer below)
[ Trivia
Question #2: Which NFL team has given up the least number of points
so far this season? (answer below)
[
Another fantasy
bust: Atlanta's top WR, Peerless Price.
[ In
a related story, and to back up Ralph's Mike Vick talk, Vick has passed
for less than 200 yds in 9 of 12 games. He does lead the team in rushing,
though.
[ Following
up a previous story, Miami QB A.J. Feeley's girlfriend (US soccer
team star Heather Mitts) reports his injured buttock swelled to 2
1/2 times the size of his other one. Perhaps that genetic scientist
from South Park was on to something...
Bet
she enjoyed getting her mitts on that one.
Very droll. Actually, she said his bruised shank looked like it was
"Barney's butt." Speaking of the U.S. women's soccer team,
hats off to outgoing Julie Foudy, Joy Fawcett and America's all-time
soccer scorer (male or female), Mia Hamm. Speaking of which, what
did you think of Mia changing her jersey to one that said "Garciaparra"
on the back (in honor of her new husband) for the second half of her
last game? Usually having that name above your number makes you pull
a hamstring. Perhaps that's why Nomar knew she was the girl for him...isn't
the Spanish translation of "Mia Hamm, Mia Hamm" -- "My
Hamstring! My Hamstring!" or is that just my imagination?
Shortly after she switched jerseys she got tackled and hurt her knee.
Not a good omen.
* Trivia
answer 1: Philadelphia is second with 340 points.
* Trivia
answer 2: The New York Jets with 175 points allowed.
