In
This Xmas Issue:
Week
Fourteen Standings
Will Anyone Catch Ron?
While the lead has slipped a little bit, Ron "Juggernaut"
Hade continues his stranglehold on First Place. With two
weeks remaining in the season, (can you believe there's only two weeks
left?) his biggest challenger is actually our smallest participant,
Emma The Cat. Emma created her secret formula at
the start of the season and has stuck with it blindly throughout.
Certain to be the Top Cat, can she hang on and become our Top Dog?
Hot on her heals, (do cats have heals?) is our own Ken "On
Second Thought..." Davis. Ken has had a mostly spectacular
season. He has teamed up with Roy to finish our Yahoo Fantasy regular
season in a virtual tie for first (they have scored more points, which
gives them the #1 spot in the upcoming play-offs), he has had several
weeks with double-digit wins in FBH, survived a couple of double-digit
loss weeks, and now finds himself within reach of an unprecedented
2nd FBH Title (he won it all in 2001). But in Week 15, he made the
fatal error of submitting picks on Saturday night, then changing his
mind on two games on Sunday morning. That change of heart turned 2
wins into losses, and without those changes, he'd be sitting alone
in 2nd place only 1 game behind Ron. First impressions are most often
correct. A lesson that Kenny D. needs to learn.
The best
record of anyone in the past two weeks came from Jeff "Panic
[in Detroit]" Vanek who's 12-4 Week #15 was the only
12-win week we've had since only Bob "TV Star" Shupp
scored 12 wins in Week #13. Jeff has rocketed himself into the Top
10 overall with a terrific 2nd half of the season. Too bad his 1st
half was so terrible (60-70).
FBH Cellar-dweller
Alex "I'm out of it" Bunting hasn't locked
up The Dane award yet, but he is the only one who has almost mathematically
eliminated himself from coming in first. Alex is 32 games out of first
with 32 games left to pick. He is also the only one of us NOT to have
100 wins yet.
Wil Ron
hold on to the top spot? Will we have our first non-human FBH champ?
Will Ken pick some more winners, then change them to losers? Will
there be another issue of FBH published in 2004? Will Ralph get himself
in gear in time to make it to the airport in less than 24 hours from
now? Tune in next time for the answers to all these questions and
more!
Scattershots
More ramblings from Roy, Kenny D., and Ralph
Maybe
one day soon we'll go back to our standard format, and this portion
will just be another section of FBH instead of basically the whole
thing. Until then, well... we hope you enjoy our banter!
One of the bad things about following
a crappy NFL team (the Cowboys) is that when you play someone like
the Saints you get the 'bottom of the barrel' broadcasting crew. Last
week we got Curt Menefee and Tim Green. Now these guys are not the
worst pickles floating around in the barrel. Bill Maas gets on my
nerves much more than they do. But someone
needs to tell Curt Menefee that Al Sharpton, Rashard Lewis, and Julian
Jones did not play in the Cowboys/Saints game Sunday, as he so reported.
The players that did show up were Al Singleton, Rashard Lee, and Julius
Jones. Last I checked Rashard Lewis was pumping in 3-pointers for
the Sonics and I think Julian Jones may have sung for the Partridge
Family. And I don't think Al Sharpton has been in a football uniform
in a while.
Al
Sharpton could play defensive tackle. He has the size to plug up the
middle and the vocabulary to bother opposing QBs. Not sure a helmet
would stay on with all that hair gel, though. Apparently, Julian Jones
is a safety on Carolina.
I heard some guys on a local Sports radio show talking about
an idea one of them had to have alternate announcers on the SAP signal
of the TV. They were complaining because the #7 Fox team was doing
this past weekends Cowboys game and neither of them knew much about
the Cowboys or the Saints season's since they don't get to see all
their games.
I love
the idea of having a choice of announcing teams available thru the
SAP. They suggested a pair of local guys, like the guys that do the
Cowboys exhibition games that aren't on national TV. Well how about
the team's radio guys? I would LOVE to watch a Jets game and listen
to Jets Radio guys instead of Dick and Dick on CBS. Hiring an extra
set of announcers is impractical, but simulcasting announcers already
doing the game anyway seems like a very simple thing to do (other
than royalty and licensing issues).
And why
not offer a SAP channel with nothing but Stadium sounds? With all
the graphics they use, we don't need announcers anyway. NBC tried
that in 1980 with a Jets-Phish game and it was pretty cool.
Imagine how boring it would be for Ralph if he didn't have me there
to provide elucidating, entertaining and supremely insightful analysis?
Then
again, if this idea takes hold, Ralph might try to SAP switch my commentary
to Bob's...or Zsa-Zsa's.
Could
we use this to mute out part of the broadcast? Like we can hear Mike
Patrick's play-by-play, but as soon as Theismann or Maguire start
talking -- blissful silence. Or even monkey noises.
The
problem with those #7 guys was not their lack of knowledge as much
as they were sooooo boring. They didn't seem to get animated about
anything that was going on. Okay, they are probably not used to seeing
exciting games and this one wasn't much help.
Hope some of you stayed up late during the Monday night scorefest
to witness Johnnie Morton's 'The Worm' touchdown dance. That's still
my favorite end zone celebration of all time. And John Madden was
close to on-target saying that 'across America thousands of folks
are trying this right now on their living room floors'. My 16 year
old challenged me to do it and I said
that she was the young athletic one so she had to go first. No go.
Ken I thought of you when I saw The Worm TD dance. I know you've mentioned
it in the past. Great dance. Hope the fine is a small one Morton.
While it would cost his teammates a lot of money, how funny would
it be to see a bunch of guys doing that in the endzone?
I did attempt
to do it myself. I got into position by laying on the floor in my
living room, but when I woke up 20 minutes later, I changed my mind.
These days, I couldn't even do "The Slug." And Ken, no throwing
your back out or otherwise hyperextending anything doing silly tricks;
I need you for the playoffs.
On
another subject, Rick Gosselin who is the NFL beat writer for the
Dallas Morning News, wrote an article on how the Jets, who have led
the NFL in fewest penalties for the past 5 seasons, got flagged 12
times vs. Pittsburgh on Sunday. Okay, there were a couple of delay
of game and false start calls, and I'm first to admit the Jets have
looked sharper. But you'd think the proliferation of yellow hankies
would have been curtailed for a game of two legitimate playoff teams,
both known for running and defense and clean, straight ahead football.
Gosselin also pointed out the 12 Jets penalties were called in the
first half and none were called in the second half. Sounds like a
"make up" move by the refs. Most notably, the officials
negated a 30-yard run by LaMont Jordan that would have set up a first
and goal situation yet, instead, pushed the Jets out of field goal
range. The holding call was on (Ralph's) TE Anthony Becht and the
replay showed a very marginal call. I don't need to point out how
critical all points were at that stage of the game. What happened
to, "Just let them play?"
Are you whining or cleverly disguising a whine as a general
discussion about the state of officiating in the NFL?
Not
a full whine - more a general statement. You were there, I didn't
whine on Sunday. I think Pittsburgh played better, but I would have
liked to see the outcome of the game more in the hands of the players,
not the zebras.
Umm, Roy... I don't have Anthony Becht on my Fantasy team.
I have the other Jets TE, Chris Baker. Becht is my "TE by Proxy".
I'm sorry, you were saying...?
Thankfully,
my team doesn't get penalized too much. Even with that, the pace of
the games is grinding at times. If my favorite team did get flagged
a lot, it would be atrocious. Take last MNF -- there were 20 penalties
and 87 points. No wonder it was the longest game of the year. And
it didn't even go to overtime.
True,
you didn't whine much Sunday, it was more like screaming and snarling.
But I agree with you about the officiating in general. And it's made
worse this year by the subjective 'illegal contact' penalty that can
be called on any play if a ref wants to. That new rule is going to
jump up and bite the NFL hard in the playoffs.
The officiating sucks this season. No question. D-Backs may
as well stop trying to defend or cover the receivers for they will
be called on every play. The best play for the Offense to call on
3rd and long...? Have the WR run directly at the DB and make contact.
FIRST DOWN!!!
And Heaven
forbid you bump the QB once he lets go of the ball. And don't you
dare touch him anywhere above the numbers, for it will be ruled a
"blow to the head". Not sure which game it was, but it did
happen. The defender's forearm actually hit the QB in the chest, not
even up under the chin, and the Ref called a "blow to the head".
Protect the QB, sure. But don't treat him like your teenaged daughter
on her first date!
My solution
to the "Illegal Contact" issue, so long as they insist on
calling it, how about making it a 10-yard penalty and NOT an automatic
first down? Heck, even 10 yards is too generous for this call.
Not Photoshop
magic, photo taken of TV with a digital camera
Actually, the NFL will have more control
over making sure the teams they want to win advance. Remember Jerry
Rice vs. The Cowboys' DB Nate Jones last Monday? Okay, Jones initiated
some early unintentional-seeming contact. But Rice threw Jones to
the ground before catching the TD pass. How that can not be called
both ways (at minimum) is a travesty. But Rice gets the call because
he has 150 TD catches and Jones is a rookie. Gag!
Hey,
the real question is what role do the officials play? Are we talking
letter of the law or spirit of the law? Are we asking the refs to
call everything they can possibly call or to use their judgment as
to the relevance and intent of the action.
Case
in point. Last week, the Jets pick up a critical 3rd down conversion
on a short pass to one side of the field that is negated by a pass
interference call deep down the other side of the field (called on
another one of Ralph's guys, Santana Moss). It was so far away from
the action, TV didn't even have a replay. What could that possibly
have meant to the result of the play?
Ok, Santana Moss IS on my Fantasy team, but I fail to see what difference
that makes. Are you suggesting that I am somehow responsible for these
bad penalties? You have the Steelers Defense on YOUR team and if you
ask me, they were much more responsible for the Jets demise this past
week than either Becht, Baker or Moss (isn't that a law firm?). Remember
buddy, when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 more fingers
pointing back at you!
I
understand that football is big money and that winning and losing
games translates into playoff tickets, merchandising revenues, player
contracts, etc.
While
I agree with the intent of instant replay review (that we want to
get important calls right). But that has extrapolated itself into
over-officiating, where crews feel the need to call everything --
to be perfect, somehow -- or be so indecisive, they are rendered ineffective.
I
don't know about you, but I don't watch the games to see how perceptive
the referees are.
The
pendulum has swung too far and it's taking the human element out of
football. No wonder games seems stilted and unnatural.
I would say it's a little presumptuous to say that the NFL
will control the outcome of games based on who they want to advance.
(Can the Cowboys and 49ers still make the NFC Championship this year????)
You
nail the crux of the issue with your question about 'letter vs. spirit'.
By instantiating rules that are subjective, such as 'illegal contact',
the NFL is by default leaving it up to each individual referee or
crew how often to flag such fouls. What you end up with is a mess
similar to what we have in baseball, where each and every umpire has
their own definition of the strike zone. One guy will call everything
within 6 inches of the plate on either side a strike, as long as the
pitch is not above the thighs. The next guy will call the more traditional
'knees to letters' strike zone but will not call strikes on the corners.
And it's maddening because the 4 umpires working a series may have
4 dissimilar strike zones in consecutive games. That's what we are
faced with since the NFL has overcomplicated pass coverage with this
new rule.
p.s.
- stay away from any more references to calls against the Jets or
I'll think you are whining again.
P
on the PP
All I want for Xmas is a Jet Yearbook?
The past two weeks
of PPP questions were inspired by true events that haven't actually
happened yet. Participating in a family "Secret Santa" can
get tricky when you've lived away from the family for 10 years and
only get to go home once a year. Throw in a pair of nieces who are
now of age to have serious boyfriends, and well, you can have family
members who are also complete strangers, and you may need to buy one
of them a Xmas gift. Thankfully, I have the PPP and all of you fine
people to turn to for advice.
When
asked what to give a family member you've never met for Xmas:
11
people said: A 1-year subscription to FBH
7 people said: A Hug
4 people said: A Jets Yearbook
3 people said: Cash
The
subscription to FBH is not such a bad idea, actually. The only trouble
is, I have no clue whether or not the person in question is a football
fan or not. Then again, in a year when a Cat has a better record than
47 other people, does being a football fan even matter? Maybe a simple
invite to join the FBH Family would be the better way to go.
When
asked what gift YOU would like to receive from a family member you've
never met for Xmas:
9
people said: Cash
2 people said: A Jets Yearbook
2 people said: A 1-year subscription to FBH
0 people said: A Hug
Certainly
a more apathetic response to basically the same question. I guess
hoping for Cash is a good way to go. Why anyone would want a Jets
Yearbook is beyond me. And hoping for a Hug from a stranger can be
quite a risky (and risque) proposition.
Comments
Jeff
Vanek: I am so happy to be back in the .500 plus club. I
owe it all to this funny blue tube of clear jell that as I rubbed
it in, I felt all "Big" inside and believed that I could
conquer anything.
Roy
Bunting [Speaking about Week 14's rather large point spreads]:
Damn, I do believe that's the most points I've ever laid in one week.
Also, I nearly refused to pick the SF/Arizona game because, and I
hate to sound smug, I'm better than that. Peace and love... The Commish
Paul
Kessler [Also speaking about Week 14's rather large point
spreads]: Have you ever seen such large spreads?
[Hard
to recall a week with such huge spreads. Four games had spreads
of 11.5 points. And of the 16 games, 15 had spreads of 5.5 or larger.
Might help explain the flood of 9-7's and 7-9's by FBH'ers that
week.]
Bob
Shupp: I'm scared. 2 good weeks in a row means I'm primed
for a disaster week.
Dave Schwade:
Give that family member a one-year subscription to FBH, AND throw
in a pair of socks adorned with the FBH logo!
Tom Schwade:
Is that your long lost cousin Oscar Shupp?
Mike Hogg:
Guys, a very merry Xmas to all FBH'ers
Jeff Vanek:
Merry Christmas everyone, FBH has also seemed like a family that gathers
in the fall to share the ups and downs of the NFL season. We get to
celebrate and jere things for 18 short weeks and then there is a sadness
that soon we won't be gathering anymore. I am so happy to be a part
of FBH and I toast Ralph and Roy for keeping FBH together, through
all of it. So...Merry Christmas to all and to all no head lice.
Bob Shupp:
Hate Saturday Games.
[What?! I love the Saturday
games! For one, they help fill the void after the College Football
season ends. What would be shown in their place, The Superstars?
The NFL Quarterback Challenge? Puleeze! I say, more NFL games on
Saturday!]
Mellenhead
Shupp: money,money,money,money,money!!!!!!!!
Dave Schwade:
The RB position on my fantasy football team has become so bad that
I'm actually starting a Dolphin RB this week. Travis Minor? Nope!
Sam Morris? Nope! I'm going with Mercury Morris! His over 50-year
old, jail-atrophied legs surely will do better than my pathetic RBs.
Happy Shopping to everyone this weekend.
Extra
Point
The Last 1 minute in Football Happenings 2004?
I've got only one
Extra Point this week and it's not about football. By now we've all
seen the footage of the Pistons-Pacers-Fans fight in the NBA last
month. And every time I see the footage and hear reporters discussing
the entire mess, they love to bring up, and show, the young child
in the audience crying over what had ensued and having to be consoled
by a slightly older young fan. Oh, what a terrible thing has happened,
and just look at the effect it has had upon an impressionable young
NBA fan! That's all well and good. But there's one very simple fact
that has gone completely un-noticed by everyone except possibly me.
Watch that quick scene a little longer, and you see an adult come
over and help console the crying youngster. Who is that? Probably
the kid's father.
OK. Now,
rewind the tape of the fight, and you will find that this very same
"gentleman" was among those throwing sucker punches to the
backs of the heads of the Pacers players. I noticed this fact the
night of the fight, and have been waiting for someone else to notice
it as well. To date, no one has. Instead, this weeping kid has become
the "poster child" to the bad effect this incident has had
upon the young NBA fan. Is it even remotely possible the kid is crying
because his Daddy was trying to beat up some of his NBA heroes?
We all want
to look to professional athletes to be our role models. Maybe Charles
Barkley was right when he said that PARENTS should be the role models
for young kids instead of athletes. But in this case, maybe he's wrong,
too.
