In
This Issue:
Overall
Standings
Yahtzee?
Alright, alright, it’s my turn in the barrel and I intend
to be a good sport about it. Whatis? Twenty-four games off the lead
after 6 weeks? That is some serious effort, folks. Hey, I may be utterly
pathetic, in last place with literally the worst record in the world,
but I am trending upward. My last four weeks have been 3 wins, 4 wins,
5 wins and 6 wins. Now, I just need a 2 or a 7 for the large straight.
(Yahtzee? Poker? Loser?) [Ralph's Note: Go for 2, Roy!]
All the people at the top are the same as they were, so nice for them.
I will report that our “Prime Time Players” for week 6
were two men who love upstate New York, Andy “The Sinful
Man” Halstead with a remarkable 11-3 record and Tom
“Frisbees for Jesus” LeDuc who laid on a 10-4.
Damn showoffs. [Ralph's Note: Our Jet-loving friend from "over
there", Wouter "Atom Bomb" van Zutphen
also scored a 10-4, leaving Roy alone in the FBH basement.]
World
Series Chatter: Texas Style
Texas Pride?
Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox and the Houston Astros,
two teams who have not been in baseball’s World Series during
my lifetime, and that’s saying something. As a result, the e-mail
was burning up this week. Here’s an exchange from your Commish
and Assistant Commish…
Glad
to see the Astros erase the pain of Game 5. But losing to ChiSox wouldn't
bother me.
I guess you haven't been in Texas long enough. It's in the code that
a REAL Texan would root for one of their own (President Bush notwithstanding).
(I’d like to explain this comment. First, of course I “root”
for the president of our Country. However, Bush hasn’t exactly
been rooting for me in the past couple of years, so, in my view,
he started it. Then again, is he really a Texan?)
It's just good to see two teams who haven't been in it during my lifetime.
I'm not sure I care who wins, but the equation is caused by different
forces:
I guess letting Biggio and Bagwell get theirs would be cool, and I
like some of those guys from having them on my fantasy team (Berkman,
Ensberg, Tavares, Burke, Lidge) and Pettitte and Phil Garner seems
like good guys. And, of course, Ken Davis would be
happy. And I’m a National Leaguer by birth...
...but
the Clemens factor really gives me pause to reconsider.
I don't really have any love or hate for the CWS.
So it's my home state and a lot of guys I like who happen to
have one donkey vs. a bunch of guys I have no opinion about.
I guess I'll just try to ignore Clemens and root for Texas...
I certainly understand the Texas
Ties aspect, and sure, I root for most any Texas College team when
it comes down to crunch time. But Houston? Bleh. I've heard this being
argued on Sports Talk Radio (ESPN, The Ticket) that any Texan would
root for Houston based solely on them being a Texas team. But when
it comes to Houston, I just don't think anyone in Dallas gives a rat's
heiny about Houston, the city or the teams. The networks force Oilers
(now Texans) games on us when often there are better AFC games to
be shown, and everyone complains. Does anyone here root for the Spurs
in the NBA Finals?
I've been here long enough (over 10 years) to consider myself
a Texan, but simply being an in-state team doesn't lend itself to
instant allegiance. Do New York-based Met fans root for the Yankees
in the post-season, just to say, Yeah New York!? No f'n way.
And I've heard that Cubs fans could care less about the White Sox,
and vice-versa. Jealousy maybe? Maybe. Are SF Giants fans gonna pull
for the Angels, A's or (good lord) Dodgers because they are California
based? Doubt it.
This could be a good discussion for FBH. [Ralph's
Note: Well folks, is it?]
On the other hand, putting the Texas ties aside... I have nothing
against Biggio or Berkman or any other Astro (except Clemens), and
I'm generally a NL fan, so an Astro win won't bother me. I, too, am
happy it's two long-suffering teams in the Series. Two deserving franchises.
It's neat to have the ChiSox go 100 years without a championship,
but after the BoSox broke their curse, better the ChiSox than ChiCubs
to break their own streak a year later.
Basically, I'm just rooting for a Game 7, with 6 exciting games
before it.
I realize New Yorkers would root against the other NY team more often
than not.
I also realize there is an intense rivalry between Dallas and
Houston or San Antonio. But that's like having a rivalry with your
brother. You might fight against him like hell, but if he went against
anyone outside your family, you'd put that aside and be behind him
all the way.
That's the old-time Texas way. I'd hazard a guess that no other
state has such a strong attitude about being state-centric. It probably
comes from banding together when the area was being settled.
Remember when the Dixie Chicks were among the first to say anti-Pres
Bush things? They were vilified nationally, but folks 'round these
parts were especially horrified that they said something about a fellow
Texan.
No argument that Texans love Texas, and
other Texans. But when it comes to sports, I just don't see the same
unequivocal, across the board, sense of family. Maybe the state itself
is just too big. It doesn't lend itself to feeling "closeness"
among it's big cities, which are so far apart.
Screw
you, then...Yankee
:-) hehehehehe Sorry, but
I don't remember there being any love and/or pride coming out of Dallas
when the Spurs won the NBA Finals a couple times. It's the same difference
(or indifference) here.
(No
reply as I began “Looking for a rope.”)
Epilogue:
Ken Davis sent Ralph, Bob and me a rambling e-mail
wherein he mentioned every old Astro from Jimmy Wynn and Doug Rader
to Joe Sambito, Dickie Thon and J. R. Richard. He even claimed to
have one of Enos Cabell’s old game jerseys at home in a green
hefty bag with his old concert t-shirts. Somehow, when he went to
look for it after the Astros clinched, the bag was gone and this confused
Ken. Surely it didn’t go into a garage sale or to charity…
Sadly, boys, when
the baggie of memorabilia disappears, there’s really only one
viable suspect. And can you really blame your wife for not wanting
to see you in that old Lynyrd Skynyrd concert tee that fit you in
1977 when you weighed 120 lbs?
Best line after
Pujols’s dramatic game 5 three-run homer: “Too bad for
Astros fans that A-Rod hadn’t come up instead.”
One
Problem With iTunes
On a hot summer night...
Apart from the silliness of Yom Kippur, I have no idea what
possessed me to repeat this here…
Him: On a hot
summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red
roses?
Her: Will he
offer me his mouth?
Him: Yes.
Her: Will he
offer me his teeth?
Him: Yes.
Her: Will he
offer me his jaws?
Him: Yes.
Her: Will he
offer me his hunger?
Him: Yes.
Her: Again,
will he offer me his hunger?
Him: (building)
Yes.
Her: And will
he starve without me?
Him: (emphatically)
Yes.
Her: And does
he love me?
Him: (tenderly)
Yes.
Her: (wanting
to believe, with just a hint of surprise) Yes?
Him: On a hot
summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red
roses?
Her: Yes.
Him: I bet you
say that to all the boys.
NFL
Happenings
Best game ever played (this month)
The
best game I've seen so far in the 2005 Football season was not an
NFL game, but the USC vs. Notre Dame game a couple weeks ago. For
those of you who don't give two cents about College Football, you
are doing yourself a disservice. It's a different game than what the
NFL plays, and for so many reasons. This game took 4 hours to play,
and NOT because of TV timeouts. This was 4 hours of action between
two historical teams in front of an hysterical crowd. It had meaning,
it had suspense, it had drama, it had a 61-yard pass on 4th down with
under a minute left that kept the game alive and darn near won it,
it had a bad call on the second-to-last play of the game that gave
USC the ball 6-inches from the goal line instead of 2 yards, it had
the aforementioned hysterical Notre Dame fans running onto the field
celebrating victory prematurely, and the winning TD was scored on
the game's final play when the winning team (USC) could have kicked
a chip-shot Field Goal to force overtime but instead they (repeat
after Herm...) "played to win the game". When it comes to
pure football, it doesn't get any better than that.
Here's
some of the best photos I've found from the season so far:
P
on the PP
There's no P ing in Baseball
Moises Alou may soak
his hands in urine to help with calluses (either to prevent them or
cause them, I'm not sure which), and Manny Ramirez may sneak into
the Green Monster at Fenway to relieve himself during pitching changes.
But none of the "P's" in P on the PP have
anything to do with a natural bodily function (or do they?).
Last
week we took the easy way out, or continued a tradition (you decide),
and asked for your World Series match-ups while the League Championship
Series' were being played out. We got a very good response, proving
that we are all prognosticators at heart. Of the 27 people who responded,
only 8 correctly predicted a White Sox-Astros Finals. The numbers
played out as follows:
White
Sox - 19
Cardinals - 14
Astros - 10
Angels - 7
Not
everyone picked both an AL and NL representative. And one person gave
only an answer that was the one purely safe bet: That we'd see so
many FOX TV personalities that it would make us ill. That response
got a total of 7 votes.
Until
next week, you are excused... Go Go P !
Extra
Points
Maybe the best 3 minutes in Football Happenings?
With our current injuries, the Jets are not good enough to cover for
multiple major mistakes. They lost to Buffalo by 10 last week and
there were two specific plays that cost us at least 10 points. First,
Vinny got picked off in certain FG range (Nugent’s accuracy
notwithstanding) and Ty Law did not fall on a Buffalo red zone fumble,
instead trying to pick it up and run 90 yards for a score. The Bills
retained possession and, in three more plays, were in the end zone.
[
And it’s not going to get any easier. Iron man and pro-bowl
stalwart center Kevin Mawae is now done for the season. Looks like
Jason Fabini will have to hold enough for two. Oh, he’s already
doing that.
[
Okay, it’s time for James to bring the love
for Keyshawn. Do you see the blocks in last week’s game? And
what about those spectacular catches? Awesome.
[
The Cowboys are leading the NFC East. Prediction: This will not continue
if they continue surrendering late TDs. But give them this much, all
the games have had exciting finishes.
[
Two items from Miss Becky: First, Mike Ditka has
freakishly large hands. It’s a fact. Second, Jerry Jones has
freakishly large rabbit teeth. And he’s a predator. Just in
case you needed to know.
[
With their decisive 31-9 victory over Donovan McNabb’s alma
mater Syracuse Orangemen, Rutgers is now “bowl eligible.”
Ralph tells me that they are the last Division 1-A team to play in
a bowl game (last Bowl game: 1989). I think this is an urban legend.
But since we’re somewhere between McNeese State and Navy on
the power rankings, I suppose it’s not surprising.
[
Speaking of Rutgers, everyone knows Philadelphia TE L. J. Smith was
a Scarlet Knight. But did you know about the Giants starting center
Shaun O’Hara, the Cowboys’ defensive back Nathan Jones
and Indy LB Gary Brackett (Indy)? Word.
[
Happy Birthday to former FBH-er and overall groovy guy Karl
Wallinger who turns 48. To him I’ll offer him some
of his own advice: “Here comes the future, I hope that you
can work it out.”
[
I figured out why Washington owner Danny Snyder will do the “right”
thing and change the name of his team. Not because it’s proper.
Think of all the merchandising dollars he can generate!
[
Fox Baseball anchor Jeannie Zelasko needs to do herself (and us)
a favor and stop shopping at the Kirstie Alley store. [Ralph's Note:
She just had a baby. Give her a break, Mr. Blackwell.]
[
The Fantasy RB I’m psyched about having – LaDanian Tomlinson
who ran, caught and even through a TD on Sunday. The flipside? Kevin
Jones who has 139 rushing yards in his last 4 games.
As the 2005 World
Series begins, I notice the umpires are wearing a white patch with
black lettering with the initials "CW".
Could this stand for Chicago Whitesox?
While the umpiring crew in the ALCS can't be blamed for the White
Sox good fortune, they do deserve to be thanked. Here's hoping we
see them sporting a white patch with orange lettering with the initials
"HA" when the Series moves to Houston.
It's only fair.
[
Final Note: NFL Network will offer a delayed national
telecast of the Kansas City Chiefs-Miami Dolphins this Sunday, Oct.
23, at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. NFL Network's re-air will feature the
original CBS broadcast version, including the announcing team of
Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker, plus the CBS graphics. NFL Network
will use its own ticker to provide updated information from the
Sunday slate of NFL games and produce its own halftime inserts.
Rich Eisen will host the halftime show for NFL Network. Subscribers
of DirecTV's NFL Sunday Ticket can view the game in what was its
normally scheduled window at 1 p.m. ET on Sunday on Channel 706.
Plus, all customers who receive NFL Network can see this game at
8 p.m. ET on Sunday. Due to the World Series Game 2, there is NO
ESPN Sunday Night Game this week. --- NFL.com
