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Default Sweet Default
It
was fun while it lasted, huh Dave? The streak continues
but in the bad way. Once again, for the 5th consecutive week this
season, Dave "17th Place" Schwade scored
double-digits in his win/loss record. And for the 2nd week in a
row, those double-digits can be found in the loss column (4-10).
Such a streak is unprecedented here in FBH-land. Can he keep it
up for a 6th week in a row? Tune in next week and find out.
But the real story this
week is the "Default Girls". Jennifer, Sonya, Jayden,
and now Kara
"Out of nowhere" Robinson make up the Top 4 in
the league, each enjoying a spectacular week for the Home Teams last
week. Cashing in on the 12-2 record the Home Teams put forth, the
Default Girls are running things right now. Fortunately for us guys,
Roy "Y Chromosome" Bunting is representing
the men and is keeping the Top 5 from being a ladies-only club.
The new lease-holder of the FBH
basement this week is Andy "AB" Halstead.
Andy managed to slip one game under Cellar Landlord Yogi and
a certain feline who must think there's a bowl of milk waiting for
her down there. Leave the light on for Emma, when
you leave, okay Andy.
Until next week...!
For
The Birthday Girl(ie-Goo)
She's No Slapper, She's My Sister(in-law)
This
Sunday, our very own Mellenhead will be celebrating
her 30-somthingth birthday. She's hoping Jets Head Coach Eric Mangini
will personally serve her some fried fish on Sunday as the Jets will
be commemorating her special day with a game against the hated Sea
Scum, which she will be attending. Hopefully it will make up for
the un-birthday-like gift the Detroit Tigers gave her beloved Yankees
last weekend.
But
why is she a Yankee fan? It doesn't make sense. She was born on the
same day as Game 4 of the 1969 World Series. As Mrs.
Cap'n Dom was
going thru labor, the Miracle Mets were capitalizing on an amzing
catch by Ron Swoboda to help beat the Orioles, and the next day they
won the World Championship. Seems to me she should have been a Mets
fan. But somewhere, things went awry.
For some reason, my Met-fan family
has a knack for marrying Yankee fans. Our sister married Ron
"Giant Boy" Hade, another life-long Yankee fan.
And Bob married Ellen and became an instant outsider in the Raimondo
family of Yankee fans. I have vowed never to marry a Yankee fan.
Our Met fan bloodline needs to be preserved. Trouble is, in the New
York Metropolitan area, the ratio of Yankee fans to Mets fans is
about 50 to 1. It's admittedly hard to find another Met fan to couple
up with. I had no choice but to seek a mate elsewhere.
Thankfully, the Met-fan/Yankee-fan
relationship in the Shupp-Raimondo house is a cordial one. Bob pretends
to be bummed when the Yankees lose, and Ellen is accustomed to the
Mets losing so it's easy to fake sympathy for that. However, something
recently has come to light that could force a wedge in this happy
union. We'll call it, the "Yankee-Marriage Jinx".
As I watched the Yanks being eliminated
from the play-offs, it occured to me that they hadn't won a championship
since the year 2000, one year before Bob and Ellen were married They
had won 4 of the last 5 years before 2001. In fact, on the night
they wed in 2001, the Yanks lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks by about
15 runs in a World Series game. They went on to lose that series
in seven games. And although they've reached the post-season every
year since then, they have yet to win another championship. Jinx?
Hmmm...
Could the baseball Gods be punishing
Mellenhead for marrying a Mets fan? Or does this prove that she should
have been a Mets fan all along? Maybe the years of futility that
Bob has lived thru is rubbing off on her and now she must suffer
the same fate as so many Mets fans? Who can say for sure. But for
now, the Jinx is alive and well and living in New Milford.
Try not to let it bother you,
Sis. And have a very Happy Birthday on Sunday!
(The Picks Page
is dedicated to you this week. You old slapper!)
There
Is Superstition
When You Believe In Things... That You Don't Understand
Stevie
Wonder was right. There IS superstition. Sports are filled with superstitions,
not only by players but fans as well. Personally, I have always
been a superstitious person. I always put my right shoe on first,
I always put in my left contact lens first, and I never walk under
ladders. Oddly enough, Friday the 13th doesn't bother me at all.
(What do you mean TODAY is Friday the 13th? I'd better knock on
some wood.)
When it comes to sports, I try
not to go too crazy with my superstitions. If my team wins while
I'm wearing a certain pair of underwear, I'll wash them before I
wear them again. Not washing certain pieces of clothing is rather
gross. But I watch every Jets game while wearing a Jets jersey. It
doesn't have to be the same one every week. I've updated my jerseys
thru the years and go with whatever I like best. But I'm always wearing
one when they play. I don't ever remember watching a Jets game without
wearing a jersey. But if I did, I guarantee you they lost (not like
that is anything new).
Earlier
in the week, Roy and I had a discussion of our superstitions. Besides
wearing Jets and/or Cowboys clothing on Sundays, Roy discovered that
having his legs crossed and up on an ottoman brought the team he
was rooting for good luck. Sure, it seems a bit silly to me, but
who am I to argue anyone else's foolish beliefs when I have plenty
of my own.
On Monday morning, I went over
to Sonya's desk at work to say hello, and she asked me if the Jets
had lost the day before. "41 to nothing", was my reply.
She then said to me, "Did you have your jersey on?", as
if wearing it or not wearing it could have made any difference. "Of
course I did," I told her.
Now, I know that it's a crazy
notion to think that somehow what I'm wearing can influence a sporting
event being played a thousand miles away. Really, the only way I
could possibly influence the outcome of a game is if I ran
onto the field and stabbed a player with a knife. Anything short
of that has no effect at all. Or does it?
On Thursday night of this week,
I was home watching Game 1 of the NLCS between my beloved Mets and
the St. Louis Cardinals. It was the 6th inning, and the Mets had
only one hit the entire game. It was then that I realized that I
wasn't wearing a Mets shirt. Sure, I have a Mets tattoo on my left
arm and I was wearing a Mets silicone wristband, but obviously that
wasn't enough. As the first Mets batter of the inning was grounding
out, I was in my closet pulling out my Mr. Met t-shirt, and I put
it on as the next hitter came to the plate. He singled. The next
Mets batter hit a 2-run homerun. I sat and stared in total shock.
I did it! I caused the homerun! Or, at the very least, I allowed
it to happen! Mets fans worldwide have me to thank as they went on
to win the game 2-0.
Yea, I'll be wearing a Mets shirt
of some kind for every game for the rest of the post-season.
The following day I emailed Bob
and Roy to let them know why the Mets had won the night before. Here's
Roy's reply...
Met Brothers & Sisters, I
am continuing to not wear any Cardinals red on game days and certainly
not during the actual games. Also, I find an odd number of
pieces of team paraphernalia works better than an even number. So
far, I have just been wearing my cap.
I watched last night’s game on delay so I didn’t
have to watch commercials. However, I still continued my ritual
of keeping my feet on the ottoman and crossing my legs (except
for between innings). How this impacted action that had “supposedly” already
happened; I’m not sure. (The old “If I haven’t
seen it yet, it hasn’t happened” theory.) I did “call” the
Beltran homer, which was a mammoth shot. Yes, it had already
happened, but it was “news to me”.
BTW, my more personally-located Linsdey Nelson tattoo
was not a factor last night.
So how about you? Some of you
out there must have silly sports superstitions, or rituals that you
feel you must perform so that your team wins. Let us know what they
are and I'll publicly embarrass you on this page next week. :-)
P
on the PP
Stompin' On A Head
Do
you know what it's like to be pushed in the mud and kicked in the
head with an iron boot? No, of course not, forget that question.
But have you ever stomped on someone else's head? Sure, we've all
thought about it. Dreamed of being able to stomp on the head of someone
who's done us wrong. An ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. A nasty
boss. Dan Marino. That "Dude, you're getting a Dell" guy.
But have any of us actually done it? Or better yet, are any of us
willing to admit they have done it? It seems not...
Only 5 people said Yes, I have
stomped on someone's head.
While 19 people said No, I have never stomped on the head of
another.
But 4 people responded, Does a younger sibling count?
Since a younger sibling does indeed
count, that means that a total of 9 people are assumed to have at
one time stomped on someone else's head, and will admit it. Here's
some comments...
Alex Bunting:
If it was a son, does that count?
Wouter Van Zutphen: No never have but
if TO's laying in front of me I probably will be stomping on his
head.
Tom Schwade: Yes, I
used to have a temper and beat up people for no reason. Usually sneak
attacks, and usually friends for the added betrayal factor.
And never anyone bigger than me. But those days are over. Now
I only beat up strangers and I invent a good reason as I'm doing
it.
Pete Blasevick: No, but for only $19.99,
I will stomp on anyone's head who wishes to be stomped. On. The head.
Stomped on the head.
Dave Schwade: Do silverfish count as "someone"? If
so, yes - with a mighty stomp, but also in a dignified manner while
my wife is shrieking in the background.
As a sidenote, I find it more than a coincidence
that BOTH the Home Teams picks AND the Visiting Teams
picks are 30 - 30. Must be a set-up!
Angelo Forgione: Does it count if I
was wearing ice hockey skates?
Roy
Bunting: No, I have
never "put the boot in" but I did knock out Robert Bellante's front
teeth for which he retaliated by enticing my dog to bite him on
the achilles causing dear ol' Sandy to be shipped away. The
Bellantes were an odd, passive-aggressive lot. Hey, I felt
the dog was just showing to be a good judge of character. Go
Jets!
Bob Shupp: I stomped on Ralph's head,
yes, but it was in a moment of joy so he didn't mind too much.
Jeff Vanek: Go T-I-G-E-R-S. From hopeless
to beating the 200 million dollar boys. YESSIR!!!!!!! [Editor's
note: That has nothing to do with stomping on heads.]
Extra Points
The Fastest 3 Minutes in Football Happenings
The
Rutgers/Navy clash has a bit more panache this year than we’re
used to. Time was when the main excitement the game would generate
was one of the teams would emerge without being winless for the season.
This year, 5-0 RU and 5-1 Navy are vying for a place in the AP top-25
poll and bowl game eligibility. Life is good.
[ Speaking
of life being good, I have two words for my feelings about Los Mets:
Unvarnished Optimism.
[ There
are few problems in this world that cannot be fixed by eating brunch.
[ Some
insight on our leader Jenn “Wilson” Pickert’s football
expertise. Jenn’s uncle is a former Green Bay Packer and her
cousin is the star TE of the #19 Missouri Tigers. No word on whether
or not she can channel Curley Lambeau.
[ Our
esteemed AssCommish said he hoped “all the bad things went
into one game” while witnessing the 41-0 shellacking The Mighty
Jets took last week in Jacksonville. Nothing cures Jets ills faster
than a visit from The Dolphins. After Miami, The Jets play Detroit,
then Cleveland. While holding a 2-3 record today (wins at Tennessee
and at Buffalo, close losses to NE and Indy, then the Jax debacle),
Gang Green might find themselves a respectable 5-3 entering their
bye week; which is halfway to 10-6.
[ Reminder
to all that the annual FBH Halloween issue is in the works. If any
of you creative types have any submittals, please send them along
to Ralphie.
