In
This Issue:
Current
Standings
Where The Boys Aren't
My
oh my, how the mighty have fallen. I don't want to lead this section
off every week with Dave "Double-Digit" Schwade,
but he leaves me no choice. It is now SIX consecutive weeks in
which Dave has produced double digits in either the win column
or the loss column. And unfortunately for Dave the last
few weeks of this streak have all been in the loss column. His
3-10 record in Week 6 is good enough, or bad enough, to place Dave
in 40th place. It wasn't very long ago that Dave was in 1st place.
He seems to be setting new records in futility. I can't recall
a time when someone was in 1st place one week and this far back
a mere few weeks later. If he makes it to last place this year,
it will be truly monumental. You can do it, Dave! I have
faith in you!
Back at the top of the standings,
our new leader is Sonya "Rocky" Morgan.
She's been riding the Home Team wave to success the past few weeks
so we'll have to see if her luck runs out. Staying up near the top
are the other ladies, Jennifer, Jayden, and Kara, and they are joined
by Top 5 newcomer Jeff "Tiger-Boy" Vanek.
Last week's big winner of the
week was Becky "Roscoe" Tanner who turned
in an impressive 11-2. When asked what her secret was, Becky admitted
that she had overslept on Sunday and Dyalan made
her picks for her. You see, Becky's picking formula is to go with
the cuter of the two opposing Quarterbacks in any given game. Dyalan
knows who she usually goes with and made picks for her accordingly.
It's good to see a crazy formula working out favorably.
Last week's bottom feeders with
3-10 records were the aforementioned Dave, and Mike
"Philly-Boy" Carothers. Dishonorable mention goes
to Lupita who missed Sunday's games while away visiting
relatives and got the Home Teams, but made it home in time to take
Chicago on Monday night. Unofficially then, she was 0-1, which would
be the worst record of the week.
And finally, the FBH basement
has a solo resident this week. Her name is Emma,
and she is a cat. It should make us all feel proud that no matter
how bad we may be doing, at least we're picking better than a cat.
Emma's "Never pick the Saints" theory isn't working out for her this
season. I understand she's been a bit ornery at home this week, I'm
guessing her position in FBH is the reason why.
One extra note... the part of
Tommy Shifflet will now be played by Ian Howell. Welcome aboard Ian!
Until next week...!
Guest
Column
On The Wrong Track
This
week's guest column has nothing to do with football. Even still we
found the story quite humorous and there are photos to go with it.
So here we go...
We received this in an email from
Bob Shupp:
NJ Transit
has this thing where you can sign up for transit alerts to be
emailed to your computer or phone, to warn you of any delays.
It becomes funnier when you are actually sitting ON the delayed
train.
At least I had my camera with me!
Here's the alert, along with a photo that explains the situation
better. Enjoy!
From: NJT_Alert@njtransit.com
Subject: NJT Alert
Date: Wed, 11 Oct 2006 19:49:26 -0400
Pascack Valley Line #1639 (6:55pm from Hoboken) Operating 20 minutes
late due to track obstruction near N.Hackensack.
Here’s more details. The
driver of the car drove through a small opening in the fence that
is meant for train passengers leaving the parking lot for the train
arrival area. If it wasn’t a small car, he would not have
fit. I don’t know where he thought he was headed.
He
was being given a DUI check by the cops on the right side in the
little passenger shelter area. Poor bastard. He had to do all of
the DUI tricks for the crowd of people who left the train. I figured
he might be sober given the tight squeeze he drove through in order
to get onto the tracks. If he was a commuter, he would know that
the tracks were there.
There is however, a bar called “Feathers” (for
light in the loafer guys, <wink wink>) across the street, so if
he did park there for the bar and got drunk, he might have been
disoriented in leaving the lot. Of course this is only my homophobic
speculation.
This
was one stop away from my stop, so Ellen came and rescued me.
P
on the PP
Which Comes First, Two Wins Or A Loss?
Last
week's PPP question was a two-parter that we may not know the correct
answer to for some time. The Colts were off last week so they couldn't
lose, and the Bears played Arizona on Monday night so they couldn't
lose either. Oh, they tried to lose, but their Defense wouldn't let
them. Two amazing stats came from this incredible game; Edgerin James
rushed for 55 yards on 36 carries. Never before in the history of
man had someone ran that many times for that few yards. Also, the
Bears offense gained less than 50 yards and had several turnovers
while the team erased a 20-point 3rd quarter deficit and went on
to win. The Cardinals reached new heights of ineptitude. A Bears
loss would have skewed the PPP results since both Tampa Bay and Detroit
each won a game on Sunday before the Bears lost on Monday. Except
the Bears didn't lose. So the answer to that question has a result.
Tennessee managed to win but Oakland
still has not. Will they win a game before the Colts lose one? Stay
tuned. Here's the results of the poll:
21 people said the Colts would
lose before Tenn. and Oakland would win.
11 people said Both teams would win before the Colts lose.
7 people said that Chicago would
lose before Tampa and Detroit would win.
26 people said Both teams would win before the Bears lose.
Before we get to the comments,
I should explain the choice of music on the Picks Page last week.
What you heard was the beautiful but haunting theme from the British
soap opera East Enders. It's Mellenhead's favorite show and thanks
to her I have found a new soap opera addiction. I used it last week
to help celebrate her birthday. But this week, it's back to the Bud
Light ads!
Wouter van Zutphen: Bears are going
for perfect, although Bob doesn't think that will happen, the only
thing I hope is that the Jets are going to be the first team to beat
them!
p.s. what's up with the music on this page?
Scott Conner: This music makes me feel
like I'm shopping for school clothes at Gertz with my grandmother
back in the 1960's!!!
Mike Hogg: Eastenders?? [Editors
note: Correct! Thank you for recognizing it.]
Mike Carothers: A rather
gay selection for music I must say.
Mikey
Joyce: Wow . . . I
think it took me four cycles of this song with the whistle at the
end to finish the picks page. The song was soothing at first,
and then I felt my mental balance slipping away (maybe just a coincidence).
Jeff Vanek: SEE YOU IN THE WORLD SERIES
BOYS AND GIRLS
COULD IT BE A 1968 RERUN CARDS VS TIGERS
GO TIGERS !!!!!! [Editor's note: No Cardinals,
Mets!]
Mellenhead Shupp: Naturally, I feel
the lovely song playing on today's picks page should remain the same
for the rest of the season. Its relaxing, happy and has a bit
of mystery! I think it took me two hours to make my picks. lol.
Thank You for the birthday wishes and especially for the EE dedication.
Long live EastEnders!
Bob Shupp: Unvarnished Optimism is the
next door neighbor of Unbridled Enthusiasm.
Dave Schwade: I've overcome my fear
of the big spreads (but, not my fear of sharks and alligators). Look
for another double-digit something this week.
RU rolled over Navy. Ya'll in Dallas must be still drinkin'.
Beth Wong: Go Bears!
Dyalan Beamon: Very nice Musak it goes
well with my excitement about seeing the finalists collections for
Olympus Fashion week. Maybe I'm better at picking winning fashion.
We'll see. Anyone know the line on Michael vs. Jeffery?
Emma The Cat: Meow!
[Translation:
I'm having a bad year.]
Extra Points
The Fastest 3 Minutes in Football Happenings
I'm
sure it's the old school Batman fan in me, but I can't wait to see
this in the NFL injury reports -- Questionable: Frank Gore
(shin).
[ I
was a Monday morning zombie this week. Friday night Mets game. Saturday,
Rutgers game, Oakland/Tigers, Mets game, Stars game. Sunday: Cowboys
game, Jets game, Mets game and Stars game simultaneously. I
don't think I've watched more sports in one weekend in my lifetime…at
least not more good sports.
[ 6-0
Rutgers is now ranked 19th. Next up, a big game at Dave Wannstedt's
6-1 Pitt Panthers on Saturday, carried on ESPN2.
[ Three
of the four previously winless teams got their first victory of the
season last week (kudos to all you Buccaneer fans out there). Only
Oakland remains without a victory…and it could be a long wait
for Raiders Nation.
[ And
a tough week for Oakland residents in general. First the A's
get swept in the ALCS, then another pathetic performance by their
football team. And, oh yeah, they live in Oakland.
[ There’s
only one possible explanation: A gremlin changed my pick from Pittsburgh
to KC last week. Were you ever convinced you had picked one
team only to look at your picks and have the other? It usually
happens in a blowout.
[ Speaking
of which, if Washington and KC play each other this season, I won't
know which team not to pick.
[ Nice
Giants win under hostile conditions last week. A serious comeback
(24 unanswered points) vs. a good team on the road is something to
be savored. The MNF Giants/Cowboys game with both teams entering
at 3-2 should be a proper dust-off.
[ One
word for T.O. catching a TD pass for his new team and holding his
arms out on the Dallas star in the end zone: creepy. Hey,
Terrell, not everyone around here has forgiven you for making that
move once upon a time and three touchdowns against the hapless Houston
Texans isn't enough to give The Metroplex collective amnesia. Plus,
when you were a 49'er, it looked like pure disrespect to your opponent. Now
it looks like you feel superior to your teammates and team which
is an even more repugnant level of the same line of thinking. You'd
be much better served remembering that "Nobody is bigger than
the thing." No one doubts T.O.'s work ethic or athletic
ability, but to be truly called "a professional" a
player has to bring respect for his team, his opponent and his game.
[ Best
crude Philly fan crowd sign following the Eagles win over Dallas: "Hey,
T.O. -- Swallow THIS pill -- 38-24."
[ Maybe
it's my leading quality, being stubbornly judgmental, but I get
a little rankled when T.O. has an argument with his receivers coach
and Jeremy Shockey calls out his head coach in the media, both
with essentially the same message, "Give me the damn ball" and
a week later, T.O. catches 3 TD passes and Shockey hauls in 2. Then
again, it's easier to score a TD when you actually catch the ball,
gentlemen! Maybe that was something your coaches reminded you of.
[ Where
do you come down on the tackling by the hair issue? A problem Art
Donovan never had.
[ Hands
down, the feel-good story of the year was already football returning
to New Orleans. The Saints getting off to a great start
and even winning their home opener vs. a strong Atlanta team on Monday
Night Football in front of God and everyone was the bonus. But
knocking off Donovan McNabb and the Eagles last week? Could
the Saints actually be legitimate Super Bowl contenders? Wow! That
would almost be too much for the imagination.
[ Following
my declaration of “Unvarnished Optimism” for Los Mets,
my bongo playing friend Boobie added, “Is that next door to ‘Unbridled
Enthusiasm’?”
Yes, it is. I believe “Blissful Ignorance”, “Blind
Faith” and possibly even “Religious Fervor” are
also in the neighborhood; but I’m positive “Certifiable
Insanity” lives just around the corner.
Just
a quick note to mention that I will be traveling to NJ this weekend
and won't be back home until next week. We'll have an issue next
week for sure, but it may not appear until Friday or later. Also,
the Picks page may not be updated before Friday.
