Roy Bunting AKA: Buntman, The Commish, XuxaBoy, WallingerWannabe

Football Happenings Record

*1990 FBH Champion

 Roy has done yeoman's work over the years in running the FBH. A look at his record and one aspect of his persona becomes apparent... his honesty. As commissioner of the league, he could easily cheat his way to the top. But his 1000 losses are proof of not just his honesty, but his inability to predict the outcome of NFL games.

 Born and raised in Jersey, Roy learned early on the pains of being a Met and Jet fan. Over the years, the burden had become too much for him to bear and Roy has found himself questioning his roots. A Texan for over 10 years now, Roy has aligned himself with a more winning tradition, the Cowboys. In '97, he has sworn off the Mets "as long as Valentine is the manager" to concentrate on the Texas Rangers.

 But enough from me, your Webmaster, I'll let Roy explain himself...

At least, it wouldn’t be fair. At worst, it could rend the collective unconsciousness. Before creating limited biographies and/or stray thoughts for each of you, I must begin with a voyage into the Self.

Who is Buntman? What is a Commish? Why the monkey hair? So many questions, so little hard drive space.

Even upon seconds, minutes of reflection, Buntman defies definition. He is always changing, amorphous. A smoky presence. A spike on the spirit-o-meter. Buntman is hopefully evolving. Into what is anyone’s guess. And no one’s guess.

A Commish is an egotistical, self-righteous rule maker and faux Emperor. It is, ladies and gents, a shell. <<PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!>> A necessary shell, however. The character of the Commish affords Buntman the vehicle to put ramblings out into the universe, in the hopes that the waves find your space station. Thus the cosmic flavor of the FBH experience.

  The monkey hair? That’s the way it wants to be right now, so who am I to hold it back? My theory is Karl Wallinger is channeling through me. (By the way, if anyone knows Karl, please tell him that Kim and I will look him up when we are in Minnesota.)

Regarding my FBH history, well I always thought it was cool when Ralph and Bob would pick the games, and then the Schwades with Doctor X, etc. But I never really had a vehicle, and when to start it? When I moved to Texas in 1986, it seemed like a time to start new things. Plus without the reassurance that the Jetties would be on TV every week, I wanted something to keep the tradition of NFL football alive for me. It was also a good way to bond with my new friends and soon-to-be relatives.

So we started that season with handwritten standings on a piece of lined notepad paper taped up on the old avocado green fridge in the Vaneks’ house. Before long, I was figuring out ways to print out the standings from my work computer without being noticed. Soon after, Dick wrote us a lotus spreadsheet to compute the records of an ever increasing players roster. The newsletter got more graphic art treatment. We had guest contestants. Then Ralph came along to connect us through the cyberworld.

As you can see, my picking has declined over time. Won the damn deal in 1990, and now a lifetime record below .500? Why is this? It must be all those artsy-types that I’m hanging around with. And furthermore, I boldly predict that not only will I finish the season with a winning record, but I will also end up above .500 lifetime.

Roy’s 10 favorite CDs of 1996

This has nothing to do with football, or anything else, probably. In no particular order.

1. Beck "Odelay" (Geffen Records). Omigod! It took me three listens in the store to crack the old wallet open. But thanks to persistence, two turntables and a microphone, I am down with this treasure-trove of 60’s done 90’s music. Eat your heart out Austin Powers.
2. Sheryl Crow "Sheryl Crow" (A&M) OK, say what you will, but I love this CD. Sure, there are some blatant Stones rip-offs, but the album is consistently good, and often had this white boy biting his lower lip and getting after it. And you know you want her.
3. The Cardigans "Life" (Minty Fresh). (Not to be confused with the later 1996 release "The First Band on the Moon" that included "Lovefool.") These Swedes were introduced to me by CMJ Magazine who described them as a big fuzzy sweater of a band. You’ve got to love the name Minty Fresh Records. But I had no idea that I would actually leap to my feet yelling "I’ve got to have this!!" upon hearing this through headphones at CD World. The Swedish rock Xuxa sings the catchiest damn tunes!
4. Paula Cole "This Fire" (Warner). Kimba insisted on buying a second copy of this CD so she can always keep one in her car (unprecedented). If you haven’t heard this woman belt her guts out, you should immediately. There is a lot to this work beyond "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"
5. Dada "El Subliminoso" (IRS). This one gets in on the concert performance alone; an evening I will never forget. I actually sought out and shook hands with Phil the drummer after the show. The band acknowledged our group (Ricky, Xixa, Jame, Kelly, Kim and Buntman) for doing so much dancing. Oh, by the way, there are several great tunes.
6. The Eels "Beautiful Freak" (Geffen) This album is dark, but it grows on you. I never listen to the words anyway. This is maybe what the Smiths would sound like today (if the Smiths weren’t in the band).
7. Everything But the Girl (Walking Wounded). Great sex music. (This album edged out the "Trainspotting" soundtrack: Great heroin music.)
8. Aimee Mann "I’m With Stupid" (Geffen). Aimee’s voice is just so comforting to me. I wrote her a fan letter about the new album (also unprecedented). Squeeze guys as guest artists? Wonderful! I admit that my favorite artists have an unfair advantage over the competition, but Dando didn’t make the list, and he made me pass out.
9. Kula Shaker "K" (Columbia). These guys may never make another record, but they delivered the goods right on schedule with this one. They brought out the old Indian-influenced 60’s psychedelia in the nick of time. But I bet they’re "too big in England" for their own good.
10. Stereolab "Emperor Tomato Ketchup" (Electra). Can 50 million French Bug Music fans be wrong? This stuff is electronic, but it’ll get your neck working, Girlfriend.

Thank you. Buntman reserves the right to revise this and any and all lists.

Five Top Current CDs (1997)

1. World Party "Egyptology" (The Enclave/Chrysalis). This is no album. In the backwards tape loop at the end of "Beautiful Dream" Karl Wallinger admits "I’m gonna try to change the world." This is a spiritual soul kiss.
2. Various Artists "A World Instrumental Collection" (Putumayo). I think Kim is onto something here.
3. Morphine "Like Swimming" (DreamWorks). An accurately-named effort as the music actually sounds like it is coming out of underwater speakers. Vocals, sax, bass and drums. Whoda thunk it?
4. Paul McCartney "Flaming Pie" (Capitol). Sir Cute Beatle is now eligible for AARP. But damn, if this isn’t probably his best solo album. Good-O!
5. Several more are under review. If I had to pick, I’d say check out the new Madder Rose CD "Tragic Magic." I just got it and only heard it once, but it sounded really good. Did I mention "Egyptology"…?